Dear jalopy, Let's see if this may work in clicking on your name. First, Please don't feel you may have chased anyone away.. we have All gone through our stages, weather our stories are short or longer :) And i also wanted to tell u that i have worked in the Medical field for many years. One job in AZ, in which i took care of a dear dialysis patient. He was one of the longest living patients in the center. 18 yrs! So much of what you have said, i understand. This fellow had neuropothy, and was not mobile. He caught a cold, which went into pneumonia of which he and his wife did not want to treat aggressively.. he passed at home. He had many sores.. very thin skin that we had to be very careful with.. etc... however, the techs were very kind to him.. his second home really~ so i also understand "dry weight". All he could do was chew on ice right after his dialysis and no other fluids! Wow.
I also worked in an oncology office. I saw how the administrator pushed employees into moving patients like cattle.. it was appauling. I was eventually fired because i would Not conform. None of my life's experiences have come close to caring for and the loss of my mom. I too feel guilt.. misguided possibly.
I would like to say, you have a beautiful way with words.. almost poetic:) Please don't stay away from our forum. You are most welcome to write what ever u care to anytime! And in sharing, is where the most healing happens. God's blessings to you always and please do keep all of us updated.