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  • Auburn, CA
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Posted on September 25, 2010 at 8:09am 2 Comments

I lost my 19 year old son, Kyle on Sunday June 20, 2010, This is the first time I found the courage to write this much, I'm scared so scared and not sure why. Why is it so hard to look at his pictures? Is it normal to think this is not real? I'm still waiting for him to call text or walk through the door ans tell me all is ok.....

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At 7:42pm on February 24, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Hi Jane, its me again.... Try to look for me again on fB cuz I changed my privacy settings & Thats probably why you couldn't find me, I had it set where only friends of friends could find me,  If u go to your setting and look at who can find u on FB then click on that & change it to everyone then I can find u.... when we find each other u can change it back.... did I make any sense???   lol I hope we find each other, Remember Ronda Gray Johnston... talk to u soon Jane.   Hugs Ronda
At 12:28am on February 24, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Hi Jane, You probably haven't been on since we wrote last but let me know who is on your fb profile pic so I can get on Idea what to look for, My profile pic is of me & Sean an old black & white photo booth pic when he was little & my name on fb is Ronda Gray Johnston try looking too.... Talk to u later Jane. Hugs Ronda
At 6:53pm on February 15, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Its me again... oh u said your photo is on your profile pic.... I dont know what you look like so I'm not going to be able to find you.... :(
At 6:51pm on February 15, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Jane I tried looking for you, I looked at every Jane Powell & u said Kyle is on your profile pic??? I didn't see him...  :(  Try looking to me,k?  There must have been 500 Jane Powells...lol
At 6:30pm on February 15, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Hi Jane, Thank u for writing me back, when Sean pasted I was not mad at God like a lot of people were & are.... I felt the need to get to know the lord more then I ever have.... I know with all my heart Sean is in a better place, I tell my self he's not suffering anymore, He's not hurting anymore but I'm just so sad cuz I will not be able to touch, hold, hug, kiss, talk to him ever again.... that's what HURTS LIKE H---!!!!!!   You do have other children right??  boys or girls?? what ages??  I just have Sean & a daughter, shes 21.   I'm going to look for you on facebook, look for Ronda Gray Johnston & my profile pic is of Sean with a sweatshirt with the Doors on it..... look for me please.... I hope we find each other... Jane please keep in touch, k?  Talk to you soon... Hugs & much love.  Ronda
At 10:10pm on February 14, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…
Jane, How are you? I'm not doing to well, I just received Sean's Autopsy & it has been hard every since plus today on Valentines day this is 8 months today he's been gone....Please write me when u get a chance.  God Bless You Friend, Luv u, Ronda
At 9:52pm on January 31, 2011, Ronda Johnston said…

Hello Jane,  Thank You so much for thinking of me, I haven't been feeling to good, I'm grieving very much for Sean!!! I had the worst week ever,  Sean's x girlfriend  just found out of Sean's passing and came over & stayed 4 hours and it just opened a soar wound again & I was just feeling very crappy!!!!  My mind was going & going so much I felt like I was just going to lose it so I had to medicate myself & sleep to escape & let my mind rest, It was just horrible but I'm feeling a lil better & I need to find things to keep  me busy....  Sean passed June 14th 2010 were still waiting on his autopsy its been so long...I was told Sean & his friend took some oxi's & volumes & his friend said they both passed out & when his friend woke up Sean was on the floor gone.... I need to know the truth even though it wont bring Sean back I just need to know....Jane I'm so HEART BROKEN I just don't know what to do at time's.   How are you? Please write to me anytime... are you on Face Book??  Iam,  If you are look me up Ronda Gray Johnston and my profile pic is of Sean, not the photo that's on this one site.  I hope your doing okay..... Write again would love to hear more about Kyle PLEASE!!!!   Hugs to u & your family, God Bless, Love Ronda 

 

At 1:20am on December 26, 2010, Ronda Johnston said…
Hello Jane, Merry Christmas to you & your family....  I didn't celebrate Christmas this yr, No lights , No tree, No decorations anywhere,  I just couldn't do it this yr....  I did talk with my daughter about it she is 21 & still lives at hm, I was so torn cause I didn't want to keep Christmas from her but I just couldn't get my self to do anything, she understood & told me we didn't have to do anything that its just fine with her so it made me feel a lot better.   I did buy her a couple things but I didn't even want to shop & go into the stores & hear the Christmas music playing & see everyone so happy,  I don't think I will truly be happy ever again in my life....  I didn't get up until almost 12 noon today, I just didn't want to get out of bed, our daughter wasn't hm she stayed over her boyfriends house so there wasn't nothing to get up for.... I hope you had a nice day today..... oh and Auburn,  isn't that up North? I haven't heard of Auburn...  Apple Valley is 3 hours south of Vegas...  How old are your other children? Are you married? well Jane write me anytime, k? would love to get to know you & Kyle a lil more.  Hug & God Bless.  Ronda
At 12:16am on December 25, 2010, Jane said…

My first Christmas without him, This has yet to be the hardest. I thank God for my daughter, Kelly and my other son, Kevin. It will be so different without Kyle. I know we all feel the loss.

My heart and love go to everyone who is missing thier child this holiday and know I pray for all the parents who are grieving. I thank all who have taken the time to write me. I am looking forward to meeting more people as it helps SO much knowing I'm not suffering alone. It is very sad to meet new friends in this way but I am thankful to god that this site is here for parents of lost children. My thoughts and prayers and much Love go to each and everyone of you.....Jane Kyles mom

At 8:58am on December 3, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hello Jane as I read these posts i cry. for I know we are all moms. and we are here because the time doesn't seem to help it makes it worse. for it has been longer than when we heard i love you mom.... oh gosh... i am here to cry with and figure out what to do. i don't think we will ever get better and the other children i am thankful for them.. but the depression was here before this and now it is worse and will forever be love to you and your sweet life.... i will write when i can carrie L
 
 
 

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