Janet Smith
  • Female
  • Fort Worth, TX
  • United States
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  • Cindy Scull

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At 6:09am on September 14, 2010, Cindy Scull said…
Hi Janet,
How are things in Texas, here we are thousands of miles apart and feeling the same pain in our hearts. Right now I am having panic and anxiety attacks.
My brother and I have just signed all the legal papers, to title the deed to her home in our names. Its so weird and lawyers are so non-salant! I guess they only are looking for the $... What else is new in this world!
It breaks my heart when I am home at her house. We spent 4 months cleaning out 60 years of her life so sad to see my brother throwing her stuff out. Where as, I sifted and read and smelled her life.
I grew up on the bay in Ventnor which is just aprox. 1mile from Atlantic City. Everyday was an adventure with Mom and Dad, I am torn by the fact that there not home, but relieved they are together.
Right now we have to rent her house because the taxes trippled!!!
Which is depressing and way to fast for me to cope.
So it has become a money war with the state, and added to the stress of my grieving.
Thanks for contacting me, I hope I didn't lay to much on you. But I have to get it off of my chest. I pray for all of us, that are left behind! Cindy
At 6:09am on September 14, 2010, Cindy Scull said…
Hi Janet,
How are things in Texas, here we are thousands of miles apart and feeling the same pain in our hearts. Right now I am having panic and anxiety attacks.
My brother and I have just signed all the legal papers, to title the deed to her home in our names. Its so weird and lawyers are so non-salant! I guess they only are looking for the $... What else is new in this world!
It breaks my heart when I am home at her house. We spent 4 months cleaning out 60 years of her life so sad to see my brother throwing her stuff out. Where as, I sifted and read and smelled her life.
I grew up on the bay in Ventnor which is just aprox. 1mile from Atlantic City. Everyday was an adventure with Mom and Dad, I am torn by the fact that there not home, but relieved they are together.
Right now we have to rent her house because the taxes trippled!!!
Which is depressing and way to fast for me to cope.
So it has become a money war with the state, and added to the stress of my grieving.
Thanks for contacting me, I hope I didn't lay to much on you. But I have to get it off of my chest. I pray for all of us, that are left behind! Cindy
At 9:55am on September 11, 2010, Stewart said…
Hi Janet,
After reading your page I thought I would say hi and to let you know that losing a parent is one of the more difficult things in life to deal with, the sad thing is that whatever anyone says to you it will never bring your mom back and you feel deeply saddened and hurt and angry, the best thing that I like to do is to keep the memories alive every day and think of the good times and do what you feel is right for you at this time no matter what others think you are the one dealing with these emotions and you know how best to cope with these emotions people will tell you many things and try and get you back on the road to recovery, But only you will be able to get there yourself. however you feel here is a good place to come and talk and let out those bottled up emotions. best wishes to you and as long as you have those memories then you will always find her in your heart.

Stewart.
At 7:40am on September 10, 2010, Cindy Scull said…
Janet,
My mother is at home also...Saturday May 8th 2010 10:58am.
While living with her and caring for her, her last 40 days, my life was action packed. And don't get me wrong we were best friends and always hung out together. She at 82 had a young persons mind, and that is the hardest part to me! I think of her everyday, every moment! When my father passed in 1999. I couldn't live or breath without him. It took me 5yrs. to realize his heart is my heart, his soul of my soul...So now I put the two of them together. I fill my heart with every moment I lived because of them.
The life they gave me,the love they gave me,and it was an extra ordinary life. Mom would say, She felt like a winner all her life because she was the one out of millions of swimmers that won the race! She stayed possitive all her life and thru 11 yrs having CLL~Cronic Leukemia Lumphoma. Keep your mom in your heart because she walks beside you, her hands are on your shoulders everyday from heaven. And if she was presant in this world she would say to you, I must leave you, do not grieve for my sake...Live on and do all things the same and will comfort you, and hold you near. She would want you to "Keep Smiling" because she loved you! PS:I'm hear to heal too! Be at Peace... AsAlways,CindySue
At 3:32am on September 10, 2010, LGWilson said…
Dear Janet; What you are feeling is a testament of how deep your love for you mother is. You will survive this. Do whatever you have to do to build up your own strength to live. You will be with your mom again, she just went home first.
It has been less than a yr since I lost mine, my best friend and I can only tell you that it WILL get easier...day by day but it washes over you like waves...this great loss....it's like being a wounded animal....pray and talk and do anything to live and move forward. I am here for you & will talk to you anytime.
At 12:41am on September 10, 2010, Henry Sawicki Jr said…
Hi Janet,
IM so sorry for your loss. I lost my beautiful Momma on November 3, 2009. I miss her so very much!! and sometimes I feel that I just can't go on because of the pain. But, the reality of it is Janet that I have no doubt that our Momma's would want us to continue with our lives and move on. I contacted a few hospic facilities and was introduced to a six week grief recovery workshop, it was very intense but, it help me very much. Let me know if you want to chat further?
God Bless!
At 11:39pm on September 9, 2010, MyFathersSon said…
I am so sorry for your loss. My dad passed 4/14/10. He was 71 and I took care of him for the last 16 months of his life. It was hard on me and I miss my dad but I always knew even as a little kid that we all die some day. I cried daily for two months. We all grieve different and I couldn't imagine what you could be going thru since your loss was over a year ago and you are still troubled with it. I know that in those two months of wailing, I didn't see that it would get any better. It has for me. I still tear up at times and probably will for the rest of my life because he was a great man that anchored our family together. God loves you and your mother is in a better place now. Here's a comforting video on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiGDo_FIjFg

Everything is alright and you will be alright also. Don't force it or expect it and in our own times, the world slowly becomes normal again.

Wish you the best,
Tim
 
 
 

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