Janice M. Van Dyck
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At 1:19pm on November 7, 2013, Paula Gentilini said…

Gee, you couldn't have said it better, yes I have always felt that loss.  It is relieving to have someone just say what our culture is hesitant to be honest about, some mothers don't know how to love for many reasons, not our faults.  AND YES YES YES, I had a loss to begin with and now the fantasy she will ever be proud of me is gone.  I push myself hard to get approval, yet it is never enough.  This year I have had little break throughs--I am getting stronger and more independent.  It is really hard to decifer what I "should" do rather what is right for me...when have been trying to get that final approval all your life...it gets tiresome, I think it is what it took, being almost 42 and never getting the kind of love I want but giving giving giving...it's time to take care of me and hope I broke the cycle with my own children :) Thank You!!


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