Hi Jany...wanted to reach out to you. I think my daughter Kaitlyn, 15 years old (recently passed away December 10, 2013) went to Pocohontas Middle with your precious Chris. I even believe their resting place is the same. Anyway, I know grief is such a personal experience, but I know I retreat to Kaitlyn's spot several times a week, and I believe I have almost crossed paths with you. I want you to know my heart breaks for you, and I am consumed with my own grief most days. Losing a child is not a natural experience, especially when it's unexpected and we feel we had no chance to truly say goodbye or have the answers we will probably never receive in this life, until we are reunited with them one day. Though I have never met you, I pray for you. This path or journey, that I never jn my wildest dreams thought I would be walking, is lonely at times, even in a room full of people. If you ever want to talk, I am open....my sweet Kaitlyn is in the children's garden with all the shiny frilly pinwheels, wreath, angel bear, and flag. I am there several times a week. Prayers and (((hugs))) to you.
Heh! You asked about his twin! Pierre is the ultimate extrovert, to Bernie the Introvert! How could two identical people be so different! He did come to visit near the end, but I managed to get him to leave, as Bernie needed more peace. I believe his days are spent with beer, drugs and partying. He does email me pretty regularly, and I think he enjoys the connection which he doesn't seem to have with his mother.
I am glad I only adopted Bernie 22 years ago, or, as my daughter famously said, 'You didn't adopt him. He adopted you!' Pierre is okay, but just not my type of person. I am sorry for him, and always reply to his emails, but always discourage him when he threatens to cross the continent to visit. Many reasons, but as I said, identical but not the same! Bernie was withdrawn, quiet and very special.
You should hear how the hospital tries to wriggle away from, and out of, guilt! 'That's not the way it was presented to us'. Like you NEED TO KNOW what's wrong with you, to protect you from their ignorance and arrogance?
For sure, none of us are going to get out of here alive, and the Good Lord seems to have different departure plans for us all. Remember what I said yesterday:
The good die young because they are good, and Somebody up there decides to let them off the rough road we all have to travel.
This is a small sacrifice we pay, compared to the joy we shall have one day, of knowing and having them for eternity. When I feel the tears I try to remember the good, happy times, and cry for those, not those sad ones near the end.
I quit a job early and came home to find him not well, and confused. He asked to go to the hospital, unusual for him, and that hospital misdiagnosed him for three months. The second hospital found out that he had a blood infection that no one knew about previously. The doctor said he had had it for at least ten years. They said it was too late, and gave him six months to live. I thought that was impossible. He was gone in just under three.
Sorry to hear about your boy. Did he say anything, or have you any idea why? My heart is with you.
It is wonderful to see you here gaining support and understanding from so many wonderful people who have been where you and your family are. Yesterday was Garrett's one year anniversary. We had a small service graveside Sunday ~ we were provided with a beautiful warm sunny day, though windy for the balloon release, in between this snow. I look forward to meeting and sharing time with you. I have some resources for you I think will be helpful to all of you. Again, I am so very sorry for the tragic loss of your son and fellow Eagle. Hugs, Janet
Really sad, Jany. My Bernie was also a twin, and died 30 months ago tonight. Talk about 'destroyed'. He was my only family less than 3,000 miles away, lived at home, and I hope you read my tributes to Bernie. I wish you strength and courage to deal with this. Having to decide now if I put his ashes in our beautiful salmon river, as he once asked. But I never took him seriously, never expected him to go before me!
Please click on my page and scroll all the way down to the good words at the very bottom. They have given me much strength and comfort.