Jeradina, I'm so sorry for your loss. The thoughts you expressed are very natural ones, as your loss is so fresh. Grief is a process and every step will be a baby step.

Might I suggest that if you're on Facebook that you take a look at Hope For Widows Foundation. Once you like the page, you can send a message and ask to be added to the closed group (this means that only people in the group <only widows> will be able to see what you write). It is there that you will be able to communicate (or just read the posts of others) with those who are in a similar situation. I think you may find it very comforting.

Here's the link:  http://www.facebook.com/hope4widows