Jimmy Hickey
  • Male
  • Costa Mesa, Ca
  • United States
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My mom was taken from us on Jan. 12th of this year 2010. Her heart stopped due to her Dr. giving her to medications at to high of dosses. I think about the morning after she was taken into the ICU becuase the paramedics gave her CPR for 15 mins and were able to get her heart started again, I was sitting next to her bed looking at her with a tub down her throat and machines everywhere hooked up to her. The ICU Dr. was asking me what happened... as I'm telling him about her health the past few days he asks me about her meds.. When I started telling him about them he had a look of disbelief all over his face... He said no no that does not make sense.. your mom is over weight,66 yrs old and a diabetic.. there is no way she could be on all of that on top of her diabetic meds..He kept probbing and asking me different ways almost the same thing trying to get a different answer.. I have grown such a hate and fear of hospital's now that I dont think I will ever go into one for any reason. At first we had hopes even when they told us that she did not get oxygen to her brain for 15mins and even if she did come out of the coma she would not have a normal life ..of couse myself and my step dad tried not to hear that ..After 4 days of tests that clearly showed she had almost 0% brain waves we decided that we would take her off life support. Almost her entire family which is very big (6 sisters, 5 brothers) came to pray and see her god knows how many nieces and nefews. The ICU Dr. Patel which will always be thought of kindly believed that she would start breathing on her on becuase she had one of the strongest hearts he had seen. Well he was right and we were so thankfull for that because HOSPIS which is the best thing ever, set up a 24hr nurse and everything needed to take care of her medical needs back at her home in her bedroom. They were all so great and made the the next two days of her life so wonderful !! Dr. Patel gave her moriphene at the highest level to make sure she was going to be in the most comfort, I spent the next almost two days sleeping on the coach and sitting with her along with my step dad and of course all of our family that would not leave her side.. She passed in the evening on Jan. 12th which is a memory I almost wish I could take away but at the same time would not want to. We had her big t.v. on with her favorite music playing the entire time and if your reading this mom I hope that made you happy and made you feel safe. It seems just like yesterday she was taking me school clothes shopping which was really along time ago considering Im 38 now. One thing that makes me feel great is knowing that a few months before she was taken from us one of her sisters, my auntie Nancy was able to get her to start reading a little bit of the bible and she found god so now when I talk to her out load and in my thoughts I feel safe that she is with him and happy again. MOMMMMAA I miss you and love you with all my heart !!




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At 8:42am on March 16, 2012, Jimmy Hickey said…
Good motning momma..its two yrs and close to two months since your were taken from us.. I know you can hear me when i talk to you so you already know since then weve lost cousin bill followed by cousin gary shortly after and about nine months later cousin renee followed to heaven and most recent uncle tim. Its a long list and it hurts so much to think about . I pray everynight that when you got up there that uncle mark was waiting with open arms for you and our other beloved family. Im so sad everyday momma . I really started to think maybe since you werent here that i had no one .. I was wrong, of course its not you but all of your sisters have in there own ways made sure i was ok and im so thankful fpr that because without the love of our famly therea no way i would ever have been able to hang on. The major reason im writting is because after two yrs two months you finally came to me in my dreams. Im crying of happiness mommma. Thx you i love you
At 1:33am on September 8, 2010, Belinda Rhodes said…
jimmy,
You are such a dedicated son. Thank you for saying the words a lot of us who lost parents need to do. I feel your mom will be in your soul forerver.
Listen ever so gentlly, and she will always be there for you.
I still have "melt downs" after nine months. I have to say that I do not sleep much, and I sure wish I could get on my knees more and thank God I had a mom that cared, I know she would not want me to be sad. Her faith life was so dedicated.....I know she will get me there. Don't get me wrong, I love God with all my heart and soul, I just need to push myself out of the way, and be closer to God and Mom. Have a great week. Kindly, Belinda Rhodes
At 1:33am on September 8, 2010, Belinda Rhodes said…
jimmy,
You are such a dedicated son. Thank you for saying the words a lot of us who lost parents need to do. I feel your mom will be in your soul forerver.
Listen ever so gentlly, and she will always be there for you.
I still have "melt downs" after nine months. I have to say that I do not sleep much, and I sure wish I could get on my knees more and thank God I had a mom that cared, I know she would not want me to be sad. Her faith life was so dedicated.....I know she will get me there. Don't get me wrong, I love God with all my heart and soul, I just need to push myself out of the way, and be closer to God and Mom. Have a great week. Kindly, Belinda Rhodes
At 12:51pm on July 13, 2010, Tina said…
I am very sorry about the loss of your mother. The only thing I can tell you is that in all things time does help. The first year is the worse but in all things time helps. I lost my mother (my best friend, companion etc.) in August 2008 I miss her everyday and somedays are better than others but they are ALL better than the first year of her passing. Staying busy and off the computer helps believe it or not. Get active in something, maybe visit the local hospital and become an patient advocate. I'll keep you in my prayers.
At 12:05pm on June 6, 2010, Jimmy Hickey said…
Its Sunday morning mommmaa.. I wanted to pick up the phone this morning and call you so bad ! What I wouldnt do to call the house and her your voice on the other side saying Heeellllloooooo....and have you tell me everything is going to be ok mom .. Im lost !!
At 4:33pm on June 1, 2010, Jimmy Hickey said…
Just wanted to say I love you mom and I miss you so much !! Wish you could have been with us on Sunday.. Well the heat would have driven you home but it was great being at Jamie Rays softball tournament.. Steve came down to watch the championship game. Favor !! Please come visit me in a dream !! I have been praying and praying for you to ! I really need to be able to see you alive at least there mommmaaa. I love you and miss you !
At 3:37pm on May 24, 2010, Jimmy Hickey said…
Hi mommma..just wanted to say I miss you..I wish this would get easier ! me and steve went to a grief seminar on Thur. I learned some good stuff that Im sure will help me in the long run..seems I am no were close to letting you go! Im not sure how I can do that mom. Can you help me..give me a sign anything to help me. They tell me that its normal to feel this way..WOW.. is all I can say..Anyways I still am waiting to have you meet me in a dream..what are you waiting for women.. I love you !!
At 5:24pm on May 12, 2010, Jimmy Hickey said…
One last thing mom.. I almost forgot that today was the 12th. Not becuase I was not thinking about you any less but just becuase of , well you know me just forgetting. I love you !!
At 5:10pm on May 12, 2010, Jimmy Hickey said…
Today is 4 months since you as Jaiden would say went to the light and she is happy that your happy !! I miss you more and more every day momma.. I keep trying to dream about you and have not had any luck. Im thinking god will give me a great dream with you when he feels I really need it. I tell you he must know something I dont becuase I feel like I need it every night !! If you can let Steve know he is going to be ok please ! I dont think he will ever ever let you go just like me ! We are going to see a speaker on the 20th to try and learn how to deal with the pain we have in us since you left . I just wanted you to know that I love you and miss you with all my heart mommma !! I will talk to you tonight before I go to bed.
At 8:43pm on April 29, 2010, Angie Ivey-Owens said…
Jim you are so profound in your thoughts I wish and pray for the day I will see my Mom and best friend again I wish I were able to verbalize my inside like you are doing here
 
 
 

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