Joanne........I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. There's never a good time for such a loss but right before Christmas just adds an extra layer to the hurt. I hope you've joined the Bereaved Spouses group as that's where you'll find people who do understand. I lost my husband 19 months ago. He was 52 and I was 50 at the time. My family and friends haven't lost spouses yet so I had no one who understood my pain until I found this group. They saved my sanity. I hope you'll find the same help I did.