I had my business for 20 years and many customers were more like friends. If Charlie were still with me, I would probably be missing some of them. I am really new ti this (7 weeks) but right now the business that I loved seems like nothing more than the thing that took away all the time I could have spent with him - maybe that will change. I have still been busy with it tying up loose ends and the building needs to be sold. I'm starting to see that something is going to have to fill the time.
Hey John, Your feelings are on the grief roller coaster. With all its ups and downs and in betweens. Your post is filled with normal feelings and not that of a drinking person! I am 10 months into this and hate every minute of it. I again have hit a very low point in my grieving process and I am having a hard time just getting out of bed but I do and I try to make the most of what that day will bring me. Life seems to be a challenge these days! Stay strong and eventually the coaster will turn to go back up the hill and you will be on the top again! Smiles, Jane P.
John, Death and grief seems to bring out the best in families. We are all struggling and trying to find ourselves within this new normal and since we are all drowning in the same boat it is hard to see through the waves. It is not that your wife who held it all together it was a good family unit that built a strong family. It was all of you working together to make it. But death and grief had weakened the structure and the foundation is cracking because no one is strong enough to hold it together. PLEASE try and attend grief counseling with your children or by yourself. But what is hurting so much inside is projecting the wrong message on the outside.
Talk civilly to your children and get it all out in the open. Talking seems to open many doors. You seem to have had a wonderful family to this point so love will prevail just give it time to work through it. But the longer nothing is said the deeper the wounds. I will pray for you and your family.
John, your new normal starts when you allow yourself to adjust. Adjusting to being alone is a very hard part of our grieving. I have no one, no children, no family and a few friends who live in a different state. My big fear is dying and no one finding my body for days. But I have to move forward and not look back because these are the cards I was delt and I have to play them. (Danny and I played cards all the time, at chemo, waiting for Dr. appointments, just sitting at home to pass time.)
Take what God has given you and make the most of it. Enjoy your children your grandchildren, your business or just take your dogs for a walk! It is a baby step process but somehow we adjust and make it to another day because like it or not tomorrow always comes. This is the hardest road we ever had to walk down and we have to do it alone but we seem to make it with help from our friends,even if it is a post here or keeping ourselves busy in work we seem to make it. I will pray for you. Hugs, Jane P.