Joyce M Rubacky
  • Female
  • Pittsburgh, PA
  • United States
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At 12:25pm on April 15, 2013, LA-Greg said…
joyce, there are stranger things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of here, as they say. i had a strange dream about my father after he died where he was walking toward me thru a bright light, like a hallway, with strange looseifitting clothes and hat and long like trench coat that all looked comfortable and matched his peaceful looking face and smile. then he was gone, but it seemed like him and seemed so real and i awoke suddenly almost shocked. later my mother told me about a dream she had of him, too. i hadnt yet told her about mine but as she proceeded to tell me about hers, she said how he was wearing a hat and this long coat... my heart started beating fast. i dont know how to explain this, especially since i dont really believe in an afterlife and im an agnostic. whether these things are enough evidence for us to change our views there or not, i think its important to let them be what they are...something more than just a dream that means much to us. we can never truly know what is after death. but we can know how the death of loved ones and family touches us, uproots us, changes our lives, and for the better, if we let it. so many days after losing my father to heartattack and my big brother to suicide 6 mos later i still awake depressed and so lonely. but reading ur post about ur seeing ur brother...i think u said brother...it touched me, made me feel less alone about all this death, this despair, this loneliness where no one else in the world has time or motive to talk about all this, or to share their strange and mysterious experiences and thoughts and feelings. i think i know what ur feeling. it can make u miss him more or bring up more of the same feelings angry and sad about his loss, but it also made u feel good. in a strange, new way. at least thats how this similar experience made me feel. i hope u can let that touch u...even when no one else seems to understand or care. i understand. i care. and take care. greg
At 4:10pm on April 13, 2012, Gary Williams said…

Thank you so much, there is already a walk scheduled this year in San Antonio on September 30th.  I will be getting with my church and the charity organization I belong to and getting their involvement, maybe even more.  I would like you to post this to all so anyone else that wants to may get out and help.  Our fundraising group is a 501C3 and part of an international group as well as one on the Texas state level.  Suicide of teens in particular has been a focus ouf these groups since the increase lately.  Thank YOU!

 

At 3:29pm on March 6, 2012, Donna Messerly said…

@Joyce - I guess I stopped trying to describe how I feel to other people. Those who haven't experienced something like this often want to, but don't know how.

After so many losses in a row, I've finally learned to rely on myself and comfort myself. It is wonderful though to find someone who CAN relate.

At 7:13pm on February 29, 2012, Donna Messerly said…

Joyce, I'm so sorry you lost your brother. My brother shot himself too. It seems so harsh to just come right out and say it . . . but then, it is important to speak in truths and lay it all out on the table sometimes.  I'm pretty hard on myself for having these absolutely down in the dumps days. It has been exactly two months today. Certainly that cannot be enough time for the tears to dry? I don't know what normal is. I will try all I can though to accept a new normal and move forward.

At 6:52pm on February 27, 2012, Jerica Guerra said…

Thank you for your prayers Joyce i really appreciate it especially today. Its actually his first birthday that he has been gone and my first birthday without him. It was very hard for me n of course i started crying. I know it gets easier but its still hard t deal with. This site or forum does helps me alot. i put my emotions everytime i could on here. it does help. My prayers goes out to u as well your family. Take care of yourself and stay in touch. :) *hugs*

At 6:52pm on February 27, 2012, Jerica Guerra said…

Thank you for your prayers Joyce i really appreciate it especially today. Its actually his first birthday that he has been gone and my first birthday without him. It was very hard for me n of course i started crying. I know it gets easier but its still hard t deal with. This site or forum does helps me alot. i put my emotions everytime i could on here. it does help. My prayers goes out to u as well your family. Take care of yourself and stay in touch. :) *hugs*

At 6:52pm on February 27, 2012, Jerica Guerra said…

Thank you for your prayers Joyce i really appreciate it especially today. Its actually his first birthday that he has been gone and my first birthday without him. It was very hard for me n of course i started crying. I know it gets easier but its still hard t deal with. This site or forum does helps me alot. i put my emotions everytime i could on here. it does help. My prayers goes out to u as well your family. Take care of yourself and stay in touch. :) *hugs*

At 6:51pm on February 27, 2012, Jerica Guerra said…

Thank you for your prayers Joyce i really appreciate it especially today. Its actually his first birthday that he has been gone and my first birthday without him. It was very hard for me n of course i started crying. I know it gets easier but its still hard t deal with. This site or forum does helps me alot. i put my emotions everytime i could on here. it does help. My prayers goes out to u as well your family. Take care of yourself and stay in touch. :) *hugs*

At 6:51pm on February 27, 2012, Jerica Guerra said…

Thank you for your prayers Joyce i really appreciate it especially today. Its actually his first birthday that he has been gone and my first birthday without him. It was very hard for me n of course i started crying. I know it gets easier but its still hard t deal with. This site or forum does helps me alot. i put my emotions everytime i could on here. it does help. My prayers goes out to u as well your family. Take care of yourself and stay in touch. :) *hugs*

At 6:51pm on February 27, 2012, Jerica Guerra said…

Thank you for your prayers Joyce i really appreciate it especially today. Its actually his first birthday that he has been gone and my first birthday without him. It was very hard for me n of course i started crying. I know it gets easier but its still hard t deal with. This site or forum does helps me alot. i put my emotions everytime i could on here. it does help. My prayers goes out to u as well your family. Take care of yourself and stay in touch. :) *hugs*

 
 
 

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