Judi Castellone
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  • Cranston
  • United States
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Been depressed

Thinking of my mom so much today. It has been a little over two months since she left me and I think of her every day from the time I get up in the morning till I go to bed. I got the book the Shack to read. Someone here had suggested to another person to read it so I got it myself and I am wondering how this story was originated. It is all wonderful to read and sad at times as well but what is the basis of the story. Are some parts true?

Judi Castellone's Blog

Missing My Mom

Posted on November 20, 2010 at 2:44pm 2 Comments

Missing Mom so much lately now that the holidays are near. She would spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with us. I will miss her saying grace before our Thanksgiving meal. It is six months today that she has passed, today is November 20th and it is my anniversary as well. I have been thinking of her all day and how much I miss her. I am going to church later so I hope I feel better when I get out of church. I just miss her so much.

Missing Mom Today

Posted on October 7, 2010 at 5:08pm 0 Comments

I have been thinking of my Mom so much today. I went shopping and everything I looked at reminded me of her in one way or another. There was a necklace in Sears, it said mother daughter on it, one part the daughter would were and the other other said mother and the mother would wear it. I got a tear in my eyes knowing that I could never share this with my mother. Then there was another piece a pin that said Nana. My neices and nephews would call her Nana. Scarfs, reminded me of her, she would… Continue

Missing Mom Today

Posted on October 7, 2010 at 5:00pm 0 Comments

I have been thinking of my Mom so much today. I went shopping and everything I looked at reminded me of her in one way or another. There was a necklace in Sears, it said mother daughter on it, one part the daughter would were and the other said mother and the mother would wear it. I got a tear in my eyes knowing that I could never share this with my mother. Then there was another piece a pin that said Nana. My neices and nephews would call her Nana. Scarfs, reminded me of her, she would aways… Continue

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At 2:40am on August 8, 2010, Judi Castellone said…
It is 3:34am in the morning, Sunday, I can not sleep I keep thinking of my mom, thoughts are going through my head like the last thing she said to me before she passed, I will never get to have her home made Portugese soup again, I can see her walking to her bedroom one time when she came home from the hospital to get my Chritmas card and I said, Mom don't worry about that now, as sick as she was she wanted me to get my card. I don't know what to do right now. I feel so alone with her. I miss talking to her every day. What should I do?
At 6:20am on August 3, 2010, Pamela said…
Good morning Judi,

I hope today will be a better day for you. :) I am so glad that you are reminding yourself of my words. I hope they are helping you. Sharing with you is also helping me. I've never been in any support group or reached out to help someone that's going through the same thing I'm going through before. I have a peace in my heart, that I know that only God could have put there, that everything I'm sharing with you is true. It's just like God is giving me the words to tell you what He wants you to know. I know that our Mothers are around us each day checking on their "girls" (you and me). God is SO loving and merciful, He blessed us with our wonderful Mothers and He knows how much we love and cherish them, and He knows how much they love and cherish us. There is a whole invisible dimension surrounding us that we don't understand, but I know that God allows our Mothers to go back and forth from Heaven daily to check on us. They can see you and me, WE just can't see them. Try to picture your Mother smiling and giving you a big, big hug and kiss. I'm sure she is so proud of you, Judi. :) I think that is wonderful that you put a cup out for her to have coffee with you. Keep on doing that every day and keep on talking to her, you are definitely not crazy. She hears EVERY word you say to her. Listen for her voice in your head as to what she is saying back to you. Talking to my Mother has comforted me SO much. I can hear her voice in my head talking back to me. I finally dreamed of her last night for the first time. She and I were sitting outside and I noticed a bird, a cockatiel, in a bush beside us. I told her to look, a cockatiel. I told her they sell them in pet stores and they are expensive. I couldn't see her face, or rather I wasn't looking her in the face, but she was sitting right beside me. She and I loved to watch birds. We would be riding in my car and she would point out birds on the telephone wires. Sometimes one would be sitting off to itself, and she would say "He must be mad at the others." I hear her voice every time now when I see birds on a wire. We enjoyed feeding birds when we went riding. We would pull into a parking lot and feed them bread and popcorn out the window of my car. Or we would stop at a pond or sit by the ocean (I live in Florida) and feed them. Try to remember activities you and your Mother shared together and listen for her voice in your head. Our Mothers are probably friends in Heaven now, especially since they arrived on the same day, June 20. I'm sure they are telling each other about what wonderful daughters they have still on earth. We are only separated temporarily, we will be with them FOREVER when the Lord takes each of us to our heavenly home. But for now, our Mothers want us to keep on keeping on and making them proud of us, and to keep on doing the things that we have to do here on earth and that they would want us to be doing. Let's think of our Moms as our "invisible" Mothers/Best Friends, because they are. They are beside us wherever we go. They want us to see them so much, but at least they can see you and me. And God is so loving and merciful, that he gave them perfect, total healing and they are both completely healthy and happy, and they are having a big family reunion with other loved ones who are in Heaven. There are no more tears or sadness, no sickness or disease, and no more death. And God is so loving that He allows our Mothers to "zip back and forth in a split second" to be by our sides here on earth. He wants our Moms to be SO very happy He wouldn't have it any other way. :) You will dream of your Mother eventually, probably when you least expect it, she will come to you in your dreams. I'm looking forward to Mama coming to me again in mine. Well, better go for now. Put that cup out for your Mom this morning, and you both enjoy that coffee. :) :)

Your friend,
At 6:55pm on August 2, 2010, Judi Castellone said…
Pamela, thank you for writing. I am taking in all that you have said and I keep reminding myself of your words. Thank you for being a friend. I wish I could feel my mothers presence around me, I talk to her as if she were here. The other day I put a cup on the table where she would sit so she could have coffee with me. Do you think she can hear me or am I being crazy? I want so much for her to come to me in my dreams.
Thank you again and hope to talk to you soon.
At 6:28pm on August 2, 2010, Pamela said…
Hey Judi. I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I'm traveling the same road as you since we have so much in common, our Mothers going home to Heaven on the same day, and our Moms being our best friends and being so close to them. I still cry practically every day, and then I remind myself that my Mother would be telling me that she doesn't want to see her girl crying. I know she wants me to be happy and not sad. What is getting me through day by day is knowing that she is TOTALLY well now and that she is forever with my Dad. Like your Mother, mine went through SO much, she fought such a corageous battle for a month after falling, the back surgery went so well as far as fixing her back, but the complication during surgery is what led to her passing, vomiting into the lungs and then being on the ventilator for the rest of her life and developing pneumonia. Like you, I could say she went through so much for nothing. But the Lord healed her, He just had to take her to Heaven to be totally healed. Her earthly body had just worn out after 88 years. She would have been 89 in Sept. But let's have hope together, you and me. Because we are only separated temporarily from our Mothers. One day the Lord will take us home to be with our Mothers and other loved ones FOREVER! That is so awesome to even think about! FOREVER! Never to be separated again! And remember, our Moms are checking on us day by day, we just can't see them! Try to hold on to things that are really sentimental, they will help you to remember wonderful times with your Mother. Fortunately, I still live in my childhood home, like I wrote you before we were together my whole life, 53 yrs., even after I married at 51 and my husband moving in with us. I know it must be hard going through your Mom's home and all of her things. But take it slowly if possible. I cried and cried going through my Mother's purse that she always carried. It was so hard. I'm still keeping her purse. I have so many gifts I've given her for birthdays and Mother's Days and Christmas, etc. I just cannot part with them and she wouldn't want me to. I've been surrounding myself with photographs of her and even have had some reprints of my favorites in different sizes. They comfort me looking at her sweet smiling face. I talk to her daily when I'm alone, just as if she is sitting by my side. And every day I can feel her presence around me, I just can't see her. But God is so loving and powerful, I know He lets our Mothers go back and forth in the blink of an eye and check on their children that are left behind on earth. I didn't think it ever would, and it is going slowly, but it is getting better. Let's try not to think of what our Mothers went through before going to Heaven. Those circumstances are the means through which God took them Home. But let's now picture our Mothers smiling at us and telling us that they love us and that they are SO well now, and that they will see us again in the future, on God's timetable. And it will be FOREVER TOGETHER! :) I hope something I have written will help you. Keep in touch. God Bless You Judi, Pamela
At 2:21pm on August 2, 2010, Judi Castellone said…
It is another bad day for me tears and more tears. I miss my Mom so much. Having to get rid of all her personal belongings is making it very hard. Things she has had for years and knowing how she loved them because she never replaced them. It is just so very hard to deal with. Then I think I will never be able to go to her home anymore once it is sold. Her home that she lived in for 44 years and I for 12 years before I married. I was so very close to her and it hurts so badly. Can someone please say something to make me feel better because each day does not seem to be getting better.

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