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Bereaved Spouses

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Posted on November 6, 2011 at 10:42pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

I have had a tough time when it came to the loss of my husband. I was my husbands caretaker for the last three and half years,he had some major medical problems he had two uncureable diseases, one was PAH and pulmonary fibrosis. These diseases took a toll on my husband in more ways than one. I know in my heart that he is not suffering or hurting anymore but I am having a hard time letting go and understanding why I had to lose my husband. I am hoping through this it will help me to find some…

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At 9:20am on November 23, 2011, Christy said…: Hi Julie,

I just read your post. Last year I was in your shoes- just lost my husband in a work related incident (sudden) & I was missing him more than imaginable. My family was patient & my big brother took me for a long walk when I felt I couldn't breathe (inside around everyone). I'm sure others have told you how important it is to focus on the here & now & try to let the past as well as the future stay out of your mind as much as you can. Past & future can put you in a danger zone of depression & anxiety! Remember moment by moment will eventually lead to day by day. This is a terrible thing for anyone in love to live through but you can do if you really set your mind to it.

Hugs & God bless~ Christy

At 9:20am on November 23, 2011, Christy said…: Hi Julie,

I just read your post. Last year I was in your shoes- just lost my husband in a work related incident (sudden) & I was missing him more than imaginable. My family was patient & my big brother took me for a long walk when I felt I couldn't breathe (inside around everyone). I'm sure others have told you how important it is to focus on the here & now & try to let the past as well as the future stay out of your mind as much as you can. Past & future can put you in a danger zone of depression & anxiety! Remember moment by moment will eventually lead to day by day. This is a terrible thing for anyone in love to live through but you can do if you really set your mind to it.

Hugs & God bless~ Christy

At 4:23am on November 8, 2011, Jane P. said…: Julie, You need to look forward and not back. If I look back, I can and will become very depressed over the should haves, could haves, would haves done it all differently. What you are experiencing is a normal reaction to what you have gone through.

Loosing your spouse is a roller coaster ride filed with different emotions. You will cry when you least expect it and smile when there is nothing to smile about. Your journey has just begun and it is an uphill battle just to get through each day. So keep looking forward because yesterday is your past, tomorrow is your future but today is to be lived the best way you can.

Sending hugs, Jane

At 3:04am on November 7, 2011, Jane P. said…: Julie, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and so sorry to say you have come to the right group. I lost my husband 5 months ago of lung cancer and I too was his primary caregiver for the 17 months he had to endure treatments, hospital stays and just every day life.

Caregiving is a full time 24/7 job that is done out of love and when they pass it all comes to a screeching halt and you slam into that brick wall. The time you wished you had becomes overwhelming because now you do not know what to do with this time.

Within this site you will see very supportive, caring people. We are all grieving and we are all in different stages of grief. When you think you are alone and vent your despair you will soon find out you are not alone. It is a baby step process and you need to take one step at a time.

Hugs

Jane