Kittie I just finished reading your post on the community board. It's better to post on your wall so that people don't receive an alert about something that isn't directly for them. Personally, I feel that it's normal to experience what you described as your recent feelings with regards to your grieving for you Very Masculine and Handsome Son! We are all unique as are our fingerprints, our taste in foods and many other things. We all have different experiences and prefer doing things that other people here would never think of doing. Yes, we are all different and it's not unusual to feel what you feel regardless of the time now. Mourning comes in waves. It can be compared to being in the ocean and no one knows when a wave is going to hit or how high it's going to be. Unfortunately, it's all normal. Ride the waves as best you can and swim to shore. We try to be life-guards yet even with our time spent in and out of the waves it's difficult to bring someone up to where they want to be. We can extend a hand and you are welcome to hang on. Just hang on and the waves will vary. Keep your head up and keep on keeping on. You will become stronger and get to a safe place as you did before. May God Bless You during this storm. You will come out of it. Barbara
Kittie, I too read the posts from everyone. Although I don't post often as I did before. It's now 4 years and 2 months for me with my son no longer here. Your letter was beautiful as you touched on people who needed to be stroked. When I read what you wrote about your son having a unique place in your heart I thought how very true. I believe all of us mothers on this site feel the same way but didn't write it out. Unique is what our sons were, special, handsome and the best. If I were speaking with you there is more I'd discuss with you. At this time I don't feel much like typing as I'm rather tired tonight. Take good care of yourself because you are important to me and everyone here.
Kittie Wickman, I think we can all say or most of us, we have been there. I am still mad after 5 yrs, but I am not sure at who or what!!!!! I think it's the what if's that get me. We just cant go back and have do overs!!! They say once you ring the bell, you cant unring it!!!
I watch the news or read it and every day I see a new child lose his/her life and know what that family is going to go thru. It never ends, but gets a little easier somehow. I cant say how. I have found books help, and keeping busy, but it took me a long time to keep busy. I don't work and keep to myself at home with my hubby. He retired this year so its a little easier cause when I was home alone, I hated it.
One step at a time and there are a lot of steps and we all progress if you can call it that in different ways.
Kittie, I just cannot be melodramatic like some and say I'm scared of the 3rd Sept., Bernie's anniversary, just sad and very lonely! Thank God I have his dogs to talk with. Wish they could reply, especially Lady! She would have a few tales to tell! I wish I had it in me to take them for more walks!
Forgot to remind people that they can click on my pics TWICE, to make them really large! Cut the big back lawn by myself yesterday, and had the most rewarding pain in my lower left hip! Could hardly walk!
Kittie, I liked your January 1st post. I feel I still have a strong relationship with my son, Justin. It has been three and a half years now and it still takes my breath away as I struggle to wrap my head around how something so horrible could have happened to such a sweet, kind young man. Bless our wonderful sons.