Kathy Tolbert
  • Female
  • Rockwell, NC
  • United States
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Kathy Tolbert's Friends

  • Paula G, Jimmy's Mother
  • shannon churchill
  • Sally Bozyk
  • Julie Ann Reid
  • Terri - Autumn's Mom
  • paulette arnold
  • Jeff Justus
  • Garry

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At 1:51pm on March 18, 2011, Paula G, Jimmy's Mother said…
Hello Kathy, I lost my son December 7, 2010.  I am also in NC.  In the mountains.  I'm not familiar with Rockwell.  I've never had the pain like I do now in my life.  This site is so helpful.  I don't think there are any words you can say to anyone that helps that pain.  I believe when you lose a child, a part of you goes too.  My son has come to me several times.  I talk to him all the time just like he is here.  I hope he hears everything I say.  Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers.  hugs, Paula
At 9:03am on February 27, 2011, Sally Bozyk said…

Dear Kathy

Thankyou so much for your message and prayers. 

I am trying to stay strong for my other son, it seems the days are getting harder, I guess reality and hope of him coming home are setting in

Hope to keep in touch with you

Sally Bozyk

At 9:03am on February 27, 2011, Sally Bozyk said…

Dear Kathy

Thankyou so much for your message and prayers. 

I am trying to stay strong for my other son, it seems the days are getting harder, I guess reality and hope of him coming home are setting in

Hope to keep in touch with you

Sally Bozyk

At 3:29am on February 4, 2011, Julie Ann Reid said…


 Thank you for typing to me, Kathy.   I am still not sure how to navigate this site, and it looks like I've missed people writing to me.   What a horrible 'club' to belong to.   I keep thinking that if enough people miss them - if enough people just can't go one without them - why won't God give them back to us?   That must seem like a terrible thing to say - I just don't sleep much so I have 'extra time' for many random thoughts.   I wonder how you are doing.  I wonder how you feel when people say things like, "it has been over a month, we thought you'd move on..." or "I know how you feel" when they have no idea.   I feel so alienated.  I have friends who I never went a day or two without talking to and I have not heard from them in weeks...  I keep wanting to call or email my son, Scotty, and then am shocked back into the reality...

   I am going to try to find your site so I can see how old your daughter is.  Tears, Anxiety, Lost... you have described it exactly - just writing this is causing me to cry again.  Will the tears run out?   Julie

At 7:08am on January 30, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Kathy. I want to tell you that I am sorry. Sorry doesn't really match anything we feel. My son passed in 2010 also the worst year of my life. It will never be the same. he was far too young to see that day. And my life has really churned with sadness since. My mind won't turn it off. So the sadness swirls.. I really do know he wouldn't want me to be this sad. But he had no idea. He wouldn't be this sad. He would miss ol mom. Your daughter is very beautiful. One day i saw a smiley face in the clouds like no other i have ever seen. two holes for eyes a hole for a nose and a cut out for a mouth.  Just like these computer icons. I saw three faces that day in the clouds. an alien and some other face. I haven't seen that since. I am very sad. I hope you are ok. know that you are not alone. unfortunately there are a lot of us ... Wish I could be more upbeat. But it has truly consumed me. I am going to try to go to compassionate friends. perhaps the sadness will just be with everyone. It is hard when people don't understand the sadness. it is so very real to me. and my mind so far is like this .. love to you carrie L
At 6:04pm on January 28, 2011, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…


I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 21 year old daughter on December 6, 2010.

It is amazing to me how many people are joining this site on a daily basis.  It's heart wrenching to know that that many people (and more) are having to feel the way I'm feeling.

Once again, I'm sorry for your loss and am thinking of you and your daughter.


At 2:12pm on January 25, 2011, Julie Ann Reid said…
I am typing and re typing and deleting and deleting.   I am a mother - I can barely say the words.   I can't say the words.  He was my beautiful 23 year old red-headed son.  It happened on December 22, 2010.   Now every day is December 22.
At 9:41am on January 21, 2011, Jeff Justus said…

Kathy, I hope that all is going as well as possible for your family. I see that this is the 1 month anniversary of your family's tragic loss. I have found that this site is very helpful. As bad as you feel, your pain is shared by so many that know that exact pain. Your daughter, like my son's life came at an abrupt end. We had Christmas planned and he was so happy. His funeral was the day before Thanksgiving. I'm so glad that God put me in the state of shock because as I look back on that day, I don't know how I made it through the entire period.

Take care and when you're ready, seek grief counseling that may be offered in your area. Hospice in our area contacted me and I'm taking a "dealing with grief" seminar. After the six meetings I'll be joining a group of parents that have lost children. It's nice to be able to be around others that know exactly what you're going through. Unless you have experienced this loss, you could never know what another is going through. I lost my father and was sad. I lost my sister and my sadness was taken to another level. I lost my son and nothing could ever be has bad. We have had the worse event that could ever happen in our lives happen. I share in your grief. Take care!

At 3:06pm on January 15, 2011, Jeff Justus said…

Kathy, your daughter is a very beautiful young lady. I have about a month's worth of grieving on you.... and my heart goes out to all that have lost a dear child. I have read a lot about aneurysms since my son's passing. I know that when my son's burst, he went really quick... for that I'm thankful that the Lord did not let him suffer. I hope that your sweet daughter suffered very little if any in her passing.

My son is gone but I really feel sad when I hear about others that have lost children. It's so true that we parents know exactly what other parents that has lost a child are going through. I stated earlier that we are all members of a club that we wish we weren't part of. There are so many dear people on this site that know exactly what we are going through and are so helpful.

In closing, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I pray to God every night to watch over our children and to help each one of us cope with this terrible loss that each of us has suffered. Take care and if you need to express your feelings or release some hurt or anger feel free to use me as a sounding board.


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