Hi Katrina. I lost my husband on June 27th of this year. He passed away one week shy of our 9 month wedding anniversary, on my grandson's 6th birthday, one month exactly before my birthday, 2 months exactly before his birthday and 3 months exactly before his daughter's birthday. It was devastating and still is. I found a very good friend through this group who has helped me immensely. I see you have been chatting with her as well, Sharon. Hello Sharon if you see this. I can't tell you that things will get better because I am not there yet. I am still very new at this.

That is a wonderful picture thank you for sharing. I am new to the computer so I don't know how to do that stuff yet but I will. As for the pillows I do the same thing and I always say at night ok Carl get in bed and keep me warm and for some reason I do feel him and he puts his arm around me and I sleep pretty well. It is always just a jumbled mix of emotions that you can't control and you are not supposed to but they say it gets better with time....

Katrina:
I am very sorry for your loss. A month after my husband's death, I went online to try to find a website for widows. I found a great one. As a matter of fact this site has people from all over the world that come on it. I met some great people in the Chicago area even though I am in WI. the website is www.youngwidow.com. I highly recommend this site. These people get what we are all going through in this journey nobody wants to travel. My screen name there is patswife22. Don't worry about the name of the site, young widow. It has people from young to old and you and anybody else will be welcomed as I was 2 1/2 years ago.

Katrina, I absolutely agree: God and our kids will get us through this somehow. I have felt the power of prayer so much in the 6 weeks since my husband died suddenly. He was only 54, and while our children are not young (19, 23 & 25) they are all living at home, with disabilities (1 w/cardiac-respiratory problems and 2 on the Autism spectrum.) Having kids dependent on us, I think, gives us strength to go on at times when we don't think we have strength. However, there at other times we might not have the strength to do basic tasks that used to be so easy. I think we just need to admit our frailties, and let people know that this kind of loss takes time to get over (Do we ever get over it? Too soon for me to know.) If you can't cook dinner, don't say, "I'm just too miserable and in too much pain to get you dinner, sorry, kids." Instead, declare it a special day to try something new. Have breakfast cereal for dinner, and eat it sitting on the living room floor, maybe using a bath towel instead of a picnic blanket. Whatever is easy for you, and just different enough to be fun for the kids. Also, (unless you always used to eat on the floor with your husband,) you and your kids will be forging new traditions for your new, smaller family, and creating new memories. It can be hard to sit at the same table with his empty chair; move things around, shake things up, in whatever way makes YOU feel better or more comforted or comfortable. (Which might mean, DON'T move things around or shake things up at this time.) I'm saying a prayer for you tonight, Katrina, and for all of us, as we find our way through this completely unwanted and unasked for new world without our spouses. God bless you!

Oh Katrina I am sure that you miss you husband I miss mine too. You do need to hold on to God first and formost and this site which has given me the strength that I thought I would never see again. It is the hardest thing to loose someone I think and I am not sure that you ever get over it but I do believe that in time you can rise above and at least learn to deall with it and face it. Carl had cancer and died here at home and I actually watched him go to heaven and so if I know nothing else in this lifetime I do know that there is a heaven and somehow that gives me comfort if that makes any sence

I am sure that you do have a full plate, with young children, I really feel for you hon. We never do know when it will hit us, right out of the blue. I had a bad day today don't know why just felt down in the pits but every day is not like that but when it is, it is pretty sad. I don't know about you but sometimes my sleep is off, I will go to bed then up in the middle of the night but I guess that is normal.Like now I am up and usually I go to bed at eight.