Ken Smalwood
  • 49, Male
  • Saint Louis, MO
  • United States
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Barbara Rieger left a comment for Ken Smalwood
"One of my friends from the garden club lost her husband to COPD; he existed on oxygen. I don't know for how long. I have another friend from the garden club that needs a lung replacement and uses oxygen too. From what I know COPD I'd have…"
Nov 4
Ken Smalwood left a comment for Barbara Rieger
"Thanks Barbara, yes I am still on the PC myself.. you would think I had enough after this week, lol.  The opiate overdose epidemic is completely out of control and so sad:( David had several physical ailments as well. COPD, Diabetes and Cardio…"
Nov 4
Barbara Rieger left a comment for Ken Smalwood
"Hi Ken, I was trying to stay off the computer but walked down to get water and then took a jar of peanut butter and you guessed it: I found my way back on the computer.  Thank you for sharing your story about David and your mother's love…"
Nov 4
Ken Smalwood left a comment for Barbara Rieger
"(continued) It's somewhat ironic because we moved in together over Labor Day weekend in 2011.  I have been working remotely from home now for almost 4 years and because I am a very social person, the isolation has been rough but bearable…"
Nov 3
Ken Smalwood left a comment for Barbara Rieger
"Hi Barbara,  Sorry to take so long replying to your last comment. I work from home for an IT company and have been extremely busy on multiple projects that I am mentally drained most evenings during the week. It sounds like you have been…"
Nov 3
Ken Smalwood joined Kayla's group
Nov 3
Barbara Rieger left a comment for Ken Smalwood
"Hi Ken, I've been rather consumed by a variety of activities in my life for the past few days. I just saw your response on latest conversations at 9:29PM EST. Life is often so unfair to us and we need to grab the brass ring when we can. I had a…"
Oct 28
Ken Smalwood left a comment for Barbara Rieger
"Thank you Barbara.. I appreciate the kind words and I hope I am replying correctly. I am trying to get use to this site. My sincere condolences to your lost loved ones also:( . I am the clean shaven one in the picture. My story is a long and…"
Oct 28
Barbara Rieger left a comment for Ken Smalwood
"Ken you may want to connect with bereaved spouses and partners. Check out Community Guidelines and the bottom of the orange box more. You will be able to find the group you can better connect with. Barbara You can speak with me if you want to…"
Oct 27
Barbara Rieger left a comment for Ken Smalwood
"Ken please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your partner.  Are you the gentleman with the mustache and beard or clean shaven?  I've had many losses in my life and it changes everything that happens for us. However, it will…"
Oct 27
Ken Smalwood posted a status
"My partner passed away suddenly on 09/04/2017. This has been the most difficult period of my life. I am hoping to find comfort here."
Oct 27
Ken Smalwood updated their profile
Oct 27
Ken Smalwood is now a member of LegacyConnect
Oct 23

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At 6:11pm on November 4, 2017, Barbara Rieger said…

One of my friends from the garden club lost her husband to COPD; he existed on oxygen. I don't know for how long. I have another friend from the garden club that needs a lung replacement and uses oxygen too. From what I know COPD I'd have to say as terrible as it was for everyone to lose David he missed the long drawn out horror of the disease. I'm sorry that you had to find David all alone without any real warning. I envy people that are able to pass over in their sleep. That is the way most people would prefer.

Thank you for your kind words concerning my son. Joe was at our house for Easter dinner April 4, 2010. I had sent a hand written card to my mother inviting her for dinner. She didn't come over in a long time. Then when I telephoned I spoke with Joe as he lived with my mother and took care of her needs. However, it was the wrong thing for him to do; in my opinion. I had told Joe to shower early and he laughed at me and said I wouldn't be ready with the dinner. Funny thing is I was ready early. I was getting hungry then my husband and I decided to eat. I had a strange feeling but didn't know what it was. Joe arrived on his motorcycle. My mother always decided to cook because for some reason she defrosted the chicken. As a result mom was too tired to come. Unfortunately, Joe was hit by a drunk driver who ran. Somehow he was found. The bottom line is that he got away with it. That's another story I'll tell you another time. I got on the computer and sent an email to the people on his email list because we use to email jokes etc. Then I sent it to my friends and my husband didn't want to tell anyone but I told him that he owed his friends this sad news. My son Joe was my only child and he was 42 years old. This August he turned 50. So you see you are my son Joe's age. I don't like to say was. Many of his friends turned 50 this year too. I saw photos from his class reunion and they had ribbons from MADD in his honor. MADD stands for mother's against drunk drivers. It's 7 years and it's still dreadful. 

I'll have to excuse myself for now. I went to a local church Bazaar. I bought a few items. Then went to about 5 stores. I only purchased things in 4 stores. Then had leftovers from last night. I hope you cook food and not eat frozen dinners. I have to finish cleaning up the kitchen. Dishwashers are a great invention. Take care of yourself and you need to connect with other people. Do sound like a mother? LOL

We'll talk again.

Barbara 

At 12:46am on November 4, 2017, Barbara Rieger said…

Hi Ken, I was trying to stay off the computer but walked down to get water and then took a jar of peanut butter and you guessed it: I found my way back on the computer. 

Thank you for sharing your story about David and your mother's love You are obviously a very caring individual to have gotten connected with someone that was so up front about his mental illness and addictions. I am interested in real life and people's stories. However, many people aren't able to share. When I was reading about David and his addictions it made me think of the meeting this past week at the senior center advisory commission. The director of aging discussed that there were 164,000 deaths this year caused from opiates. I believe that people of all ages are getting hooked on them. Now I don't recall if she said it's just in the state of New Jersey or nationwide. Unfortunately, many lives are ruined because individuals are able to control the amount of medication they take. Or just get hooked on it. Too often doctors give out opiates not realizing  the person may over do it. I was given Oxycontin but realized I didn't need it anymore and stop taking it. The prescription didn't say to take until finished. Antibiotics usually are expected to be taken until the prescription is finished. A doctor gave that to me for a simple ear ache. Next time I'll be sure to ask for ear drops! 

I can understand that it's difficult working from home with no one there. It would probably better if you go back some where to work and be around people to chat and make friends. It's not too soon for you to socialize now because everyone needs to do that. Especially, after a traumatic loss of a loved one such as your David. It's only 2 months and being the mother I would cry every day and scream. We'll talk again. 

Have a pleasant weekend.

Barbara 

At 8:44pm on October 28, 2017, Barbara Rieger said…

Hi Ken, I've been rather consumed by a variety of activities in my life for the past few days. I just saw your response on latest conversations at 9:29PM EST. Life is often so unfair to us and we need to grab the brass ring when we can. I had a great time at a local hotel when the advisory commission I'm on at the Senior Center in my town was one of about 20 groups that decorated a room. Then gave candy out to disabled youngsters. The worst was seeing woman that were over 50 years old dressed for Halloween with their bags open. I found them a bit different than the younger individuals. They wanted to get in get their candy and go on to the next room that was decorated. The younger individuals smiled when I told them they were pretty. Then today I went with a friend to one of her friends homes. She told me it would be making magnesium butter. There are all these essential oils. And so many things used for cleaning so as not to use chemicals. It was rather involved and we were there for a few hours. I was rather overwhelmed. My friend is going to come over to explain more to me. She only got in this since September. Tonight I was suppose to go to a Halloween tent at a place my garden club is involved in caring for a couple of gardens. I didn't go but ate too much and have been on the computer. I keep myself rather busy as I'm involved in other things. I realize your issue however, the way I kept myself from going completely insane when my son and mother passed was by concentrating and creating articles as publicity and photos I place in local newspapers. There's lots more but by now I don't know if you're bored. I start to type and my fingers don't stop. LOL I hope you're taking care of yourself as best as you can during this time. I'm sure you and your partner had a good relationship during the time you spent together. You both look content and happy in the photo. May I ask what's your partner's name? Same age as you are? I know I ask questions but I like to connect with people. I'm annoyed at my husband as he gets angry and always thinks he's right and he's not. However, he will never admit it! See life is not perfect even if people think it is. Look forward to hearing from you and about you and him. Sincerely, Barbara 

At 10:43pm on October 27, 2017, Barbara Rieger said…

Ken you may want to connect with bereaved spouses and partners. Check out Community Guidelines and the bottom of the orange box more. You will be able to find the group you can better connect with. Barbara

You can speak with me if you want to I'm understanding,

At 10:35pm on October 27, 2017, Barbara Rieger said…

Ken please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your partner.  Are you the gentleman with the mustache and beard or clean shaven? 

I've had many losses in my life and it changes everything that happens for us. However, it will take time to grieve and it's often private. You may want to go to a bereavement group when you are ready to talk about your feelings. You can  join a special group on legacy. I joined loss of a child, my parents and sibling. However, one time I re-registered and not too sure if I'm still on the later two. Take it easy and try to eat healthy and exercise if you have time to do so. Depending on the weather and your health walking is considered very good for stress. It is stressful and painful to lose a loved one. When I find a dime to me I like to imagine it's my son Joe connecting with me. When I come upon a penny I think of it being my mother connecting with me. You can expect too much of yourself just take it easy because it's normal to cry and it's actually good for a person in many ways. Good Luck on your journey. 

Barbara 

 
 
 

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