Kim I haven't been on site for a bit but oh my our stories are so similar that when I read yours I shed tears! My father passed in Dec. He had been a little sad a few days prior due to some family issues I had been with him days prior! So I kept calling and checking on him he lived 20 minutes out of town(also had girlfriend) on the 3 day to make sure he was OK and not so depressed I called and girlfriend answered said her I'll give him phone he's complaining bout stomach pain I talked to dad he was grunting asked him to go to hospital he said I'll be OK I love u I said I'll come get u dad he said no I'll be fine gave her back phone she then told me she gave him something to help him relax I scolded her because he wasn't already feeling good why did you give him anything!!! She said don't worry I'll keep an eye on him only to take a sleeping pill herself and fall asleep! Next morning get a call she can't wake him up my husband and I jump in car to route I call my uncle who lives near by my husband calls 911 we were all too late my dad best friend wonderful grandfather gone!! We spoke every day like 3x a day met @ least 2 3 times week for lunch and he's gone!! I feel just like u so guilty like I failed him in so many ways because I didn't feel at ease when I hung up that phone I should've called my uncle he lived right there I feel guilty as u if I smile go to a store have a happy moment! I am so very sorry for your loss I will keep you I'm my prayers that God gives us some peace because they are with the LORD although hard living without them! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY