Lanne Kowal
  • Female
  • Lansdowne, PA
  • United States
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At 10:11pm on May 6, 2011, Susan Mayer said…

Hi Lanne,

I am so sorry for your loss.  We have something in common:  My husband also died suddenly in an accident.  He was struck by a car, Sept. 5, 2010, while riding his bicycle.  There are no words to describe the utter shock of your world coming to a grinding halt in a split second, as you and I both know only too well.

You know, I talk to Steve all the time - and my journal entries are often addressed to him.  I think it helps, and I don't think it's crazy.  Aspects of our husbands live on in our hearts.  When I've had bad moments, I sometimes "hear" Steve - the Steve that's in me - comforting me, advising me.  It's helpful, and my therapist doesn't think it's crazy at all.  It's that internalized aspect of him that lives on in me. So what's wrong with talking to it, too?  If that makes you crazy... well, you've got lots of company!  Including me.

I'm glad you found this site; lots of helpful people and comfort when you need it.  Take care of yourself.

Susan

At 1:11am on April 27, 2011, Carol Kayser said…

Dear Lanne, I just read your post where you mention talking to your husband Lawrence.  I am so very sorry for your loss and the tragic circumstances.

I just wanted to say, no, you are not crazy!  If that were true, then we'd all be called crazy...not!  I talk to my dear Jack all the time, share with him, talk to his pictures, ask him to be with me.  Live my life acknowledging his presence, because I know his arms are wrapped around me, always.  I gain strength from his love and it allows me to continue to get up and enjoy our children, and find moments of joy in my day.   It has been 8 months for me now.  I find I have times when I just start crying, for a very small thing, but I can be brave for a big thing.  Each day is different and has different challenges.  Take one step at a time, even if baby ones, and know that your loved one he still is there for you, so continue to reach out to him.

 

God Bless.

Carol

At 1:11am on April 27, 2011, Carol Kayser said…

Dear Lanne, I just read your post where you mention talking to your husband Lawrence.  I am so very sorry for your loss and the tragic circumstances.

I just wanted to say, no, you are not crazy!  If that were true, then we'd all be called crazy...not!  I talk to my dear Jack all the time, share with him, talk to his pictures, ask him to be with me.  Live my life acknowledging his presence, because I know his arms are wrapped around me, always.  I gain strength from his love and it allows me to continue to get up and enjoy our children, and find moments of joy in my day.   It has been 8 months for me now.  I find I have times when I just start crying, for a very small thing, but I can be brave for a big thing.  Each day is different and has different challenges.  Take one step at a time, even if baby ones, and know that your loved one he still is there for you, so continue to reach out to him.

 

God Bless.

Carol

At 8:10pm on April 22, 2011, Christy said…
Lanne, please accept my heartfelt condolences. Several of us here know what it's like to have your spouse here -healthy, living a good decent life, working to provide for their families & then just gone! We never get to lay eyes on them again, we just have to take someone's word that they are gone & are never coming back. That's almost impossible to do. It has been almost 8 months for me & yesterday was the first day I went all day without crying. I'm so used to it that I wonder if I did & just don't remember. I never loose the feeling of halfway expecting him to walk through the door any minute. It's like I can't believe this is real- even after more than 7 months! I'm sure you are familiar with this. I'm so sorry all of us here know what this is like, but I am so thankful for everyone here. They help me from feeling completely insane & share insight as to what to expect or suggest things that might help....
I wish you the best~ Christy
At 7:21pm on April 22, 2011, Cynthia Clements said…
I am so sorry to hear about your husband as well, I pray you get some peace.  Love and hugs, Cindy
At 7:21pm on April 22, 2011, Cynthia Clements said…
I am so sorry to hear about your husband as well, I pray you get some peace.  Love and hugs, Cindy
At 7:20pm on April 22, 2011, Cynthia Clements said…
Thank you Lanne, I dont think there is anything that we can say.  It helps just knowing there are people here who understand. Hug to you.
At 7:20pm on April 22, 2011, Cynthia Clements said…
Thank you Lanne, I dont think there is anything that we can say.  It helps just knowing there are people here who understand. Hug to you.
 
 
 

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