Laura, thanks for the note back. I just got involved with Facebook because of some other bereaved spouses started a group there that was a spin off of Legacy. It is just another site too me with a little extra to do . I play scrabble on line since I am home and alone. Houston and Brownsville are MILES apart. I was hoping you did live a bit closer so I could invite you over for coffee if you would like. :) Take care . I had a rough day emotionally but I have faith and lots of hope, God is forever there so that is the gift of my day.
Oh Laura I am so sorry for your loss as well. You have described exactly what I am going through as well. This is going to be a VERY busy week for me, as I am a florist and the flower shop is non-stop with orders coming in. I so wish my dear Stan were here to help us and I think of him constantly. I want him to proud of us continuing his legacy. I won't have much time to "think" this week, but I know that once Mother's Day passes, that this emptiness within me will still be there. It seems to be getting harder for me as the reality of knowing that Stan won't ever be with me on this earth again sets in. I am constantly thinking of him, and picture him in my mind on his very last day. I had the nurses dress him i9n his favorite casual tropical shirt and jean shorts. They were SO big on him as he had lost over 100 lbs. in 9 months. And then I picture him as he was last Father's Day, smiling, with an ornary look on his face and then that makes me smile. I try my best to get all the negative thoughts out of my mind and focus on Stan being whole again, no more suffering, no more pain, and waiting for me in Heaven to join him where NOTHING will ever separate us again and we will be together eternally.
Hello Laura, just read your post and wanted to share. I also see Betsy wrote. Her husband and mine died on the say day also, last year. What I wanted to say was I believe your visions of heaven were pretty correct....I have it on good authority from my dear, sweet husband Jack! maybe the streets aren't paved with gold but his words will echo in my heart for ever, until I see him again. As our daughters and I were gathered around his bed, he told us 'there is nothing but love here'. The comfort these words gave to us is immense. We felt, and are, so incredibly blessed to know he went where there was love, and that he would be surrounded by it. Also, that the pain, the distress, the aching that would happen each and every minute, they are gone too. I just feel that he is not far away at all and I can reach out, close my eyes and know he is there. After all he did promise me! I would suggest you embrace his love and let it comfort and protect you.
It is so good you can sleep at your daughter's at the moment, but don't be afraid to sleep in your own bed. He will be there, watching over you. One small step at a time, it will get a little easier, but take the time to do the work of grief, you need that to begin healing.
We are all very sorry for your loss and as Kathy said, we do understand. You have found the right place to be yourself. Tell us some about yourself if you would like (and your dear one too of course). Feel free to ask questions. Know that anything you are feeling is probably very normal even if its anger, frustration, totally overwhelmed. You are very new to this "roller coaster" so any feelings will erupt. We will be here for you. My soulmate passed 14 months ago and this thread has been a lifesaver.
Laura: first of all i am sorry for your loss. you found the right place to be because all of us here are gonig thru the same thing. we are here for each other and will never be judged for what we have to say. you can vent out all you want people will listen and try to help you thru your sorrow. i lost my husband 26 months ago yesterday and it still hurts but i am still here not as much but i am still here please feel free to vent out that is why we are here take care and again sorry for your loss