Hi LeeAnn, No you didnt offend me at all. Thank you for your kind words. Im truly sorry to hear about your loss, and envious of your son. I like to believe he's in a better place but to be honest with you i dont think this place is so bad. My son was so funny and i miss that most, his laugh, and smile could just melt your heart. So wise in such a little body. I read all this situation with other kids and adults that have these miracles where they say god or a saint came to them and said everything is going to be ok... where were they for us? my son didnt even have a chance to experience the wonders of life and yours didnt take thier first breath.. There is no reason for you to feel guilty for wanting the love of another child. Congrats to you.. Ive added you as our friend here..
It has been awhile since I have been on. Though this place is a source of comfort it is painful as well. I am pregnant again, conceived a month and yr after the death of Jayden. I feel so guilty being pregnant. I really didnt believe it would ever happen again after losing him from the accident. I know women everyday have c-sections, emergency ones I just thought it damaged me. Wrong obviously I was. I am extremely excited and happy to have such a gift of a child from God once again. Yet, here lately I have been so up and down emotionally thinking somehow that its wrong to be happy, that this child somehow will replace the memories that were stolen from us to see Jayden grow up. I want a girl, and partly because I am so emotional and the thought of another boy, seems unfair. I know this may be pregnancy hormones talking, but I can not describe how it just seems unfair because I dont have Jayden and I want him, not a replacement. I feel like Im sounding crazy. Maybe right now I am a little. I know I would be happy even if it was a boy its just I guess its accepting that and that this child if a boy will never be Jayden, therefore not a replacement, just a gift I am meant to have. I cant explain the dread I feel inside of doing a boy themed nursery again, I want to sob. Please say its just jitters, just that scared feeling of having child after losing a child. This is so different from how I felt after miscarrying my daughter then getting pregnant a yr later with my son Austin. Im at a loss for words in explaining how it is to my fiance'.
Hi LeeAnn, I lost my infant son, Noah, when he was 7wks old to SIDS. I also lost my oldest son, Jon, last June. I've often wondered the same thing about will Noah still be an infant in heaven. Some things are just a mystery. We won't know how that part works until we get there. My 2nd son was 5 when Noah died and he had many such questions. I just tried to reassure him that Noah was in heaven and we would find out if he was still a baby when we get there. I'm sorry for your losses. I had a miscarriage before we had Noah. It is all painful. I'll pray that the Lord will give you something that your son can hold on to. Blessings,Kathy