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At 8:02am on October 29, 2010, Debbie Treadway said…: Leia, well tomorrow will be another one of those firsts. We would have been married for 39 years. I am dreading it already but am going to spend it with family for a kids party so I hope that will help some. I am still dealing with the guilt of enjoying things without him, but I do know that he would not want me to be sad the rest of my life. Saw his headstone for the first time this week so that was a very emotional time. I do understand why you had to move to another place.I don't think people realize not only does our life change when we lose our husbands but also our finances. I had to sell Waymon's truck and his ATV because I just couldn't afford the notes on them. I am very blessed that we built the house I live in and it is on property that I inherited from my mother. So that was one worry that I did not have. Although everything there remindes me of Waymon because we bulit and did everything together. Some of the days are getting easier so I know there is hope that life will get better. Please say a prayer for me tomorrow. Please stay in touch.

At 1:40pm on October 24, 2010, Debbie Treadway said…: Leia, We do share a terrible day, but it sounds like your Don was a wonderful man. I have a lot of trouble dealing with not being a caregiver anymore. For so many years that was my main purpose in life and it is so hard not being able to do that. I am blessed with good health and am able to work so that does take up my time during the day. I also have my daughter and son-in-law with me so at least I am not all alone when I am at home. I do miss my Waymon so much and am just taking this one day at a time. Some days are okay and others are just terrible. I hope that with time this will get better and that I can get rid of the guilty feelings I have about enjoying any part of life knowing that my precious Waymon is gone. Maybe you can help me to know if things will ever get better since you are a little farther into this journey of grief than I am. Please keep in touch.

At 9:12pm on October 22, 2010, tyresaadair said…: I do not know .Sometimes I feel hospice was the right thing for Joe ,during it all I was not very comfortable with them.I do not understand the not keeping the same nurse for the same patients.How would they get to know Joe if they changed all the time.?I also felt they were trying not to get too close to their patients.I do not know how many times I caught the wrong meds in his pill box.I'm glad that Joe got to stay home but I do not feel his care was the best.

At 9:12pm on October 22, 2010, tyresaadair said…: I do not know .Sometimes I feel hospice was the right thing for Joe ,during it all I was not very comfortable with them.I do not understand the not keeping the same nurse for the same patients.How would they get to know Joe if they changed all the time.?I also felt they were trying not to get too close to their patients.I do not know how many times I caught the wrong meds in his pill box.I'm glad that Joe got to stay home but I do not feel his care was the best.

At 9:39am on October 19, 2010, tyresaadair said…: Hey Leia,I too had hospice for my Joe.I was not completely happy with them either.I get a lil upset when I remember that day.The LPN came over and assessed him,Joe had begun swelling more and more in the past few weeks.All he had to say was he seems to be retaining fluid in his stomach.4 hrs later My Joe was dead of CHF and now hospice believes his kidneys failed.The day before I called them because his fingers were grotesquely deformed.All I got was do you want us to come out. ?It was a sun. and I was doing what the charge nurse asked me to do.I felt it was their decision not mines.They never came.The charge nurse had been on vacation when Joe started all this swelling.When she came back an d took one look at Joe ,she immediately called this LPN.She asked why she was not informed of his swelling?Joe and I were not comfortable with this particular LPN and had requested that only a certain one come by.The charge nurse knew of this.I never liked the fact that the nurses changed everyday.You never knew who you were getting.Well we never got to see the nurse Joe preferred again.I know that Joe preferences would have caught the swelling and done more for Joe. That nurse was caring and took his job seriously.The day Joe died .I called to tell hospice that he lost consciousness .It took that nurse 30 mins to get here .The charge nurse kept calling to see if he made it yet.In every situation I had with hospice I felt they let me down.I have my doubts on whether I did right by not switching his hospice provider.

At 8:27am on October 16, 2010, Kathy King Kates said…: Sounds like you did a great thing dispersing the ashes at the ball field. My dear Bill is scattered right here on our horse ranch as he wanted to be with his horses he loved so much. It feels good knowing I did exactly as he wished in those final events. Enjoy those grandchildren and make lots of wonderful memories. It is what sustains us through these terrible days. Many hugs Leia

At 7:30pm on September 11, 2010, Leia Wright said…: I agree Suzanne. I cannot imagine your pain being married such a short time.
At least I had Don for 36 years. We were able to travel a lot and see our grandchildren often. I have a lot of great memories. That helps me get through.
Remember to take care of yourself. Your children need you!
Take care, Leia

At 1:10am on September 11, 2010, suzanne green said…: speaking of stupid phrases i get told is that everything happens for a reason...i would like to know what the reason is, i cant come up with a single one. we were married 3wks b4 he passd.he had burkitts lymphoma...very aggressive. he went n2the room walking/talking/joking...just seemd to be a lil more confused than what i'd seen. next day, mida.m., his teeth were clenched, eyes shut, moans/groans was his new language/left side went limp and startered turning inwards. got his MRI done, finally. he was dead a day later. it never crossed my mind that he wasnt coming home one more time.u should have seen the shock/pain/surprized look i had to watch...then here came the tears...big ol crocdile tears. i have a seven yr old and a one year also

At 1:10am on September 11, 2010, suzanne green said…: speaking of stupid phrases i get told is that everything happens for a reason...i would like to know what the reason is, i cant come up with a single one. we were married 3wks b4 he passd.he had burkitts lymphoma...very aggressive. he went n2the room walking/talking/joking...just seemd to be a lil more confused than what i'd seen. next day, mida.m., his teeth were clenched, eyes shut, moans/groans was his new language/left side went limp and startered turning inwards. got his MRI done, finally. he was dead a day later. it never crossed my mind that he wasnt coming home one more time.u should have seen the shock/pain/surprized look i had to watch...then here came the tears...big ol crocdile tears. i have a seven yr old and a one year also

At 3:46pm on August 9, 2010, Leia Wright said…: Thanks, Deborah. I appreciate all the kind thoughts. Spreading of the ashes went well. I fell apart at the ballpark where we dispersed the ashes. But quickly got lots of support. The "boys"
were wonderful. My grandson ran the bases and dug in the dirt! He had a ball. He had no idea what was going on. That was good actually. Uncle Dan tried to outrun the kids and fell on his back side! LOL We took pictures of all of us by the backstop. Don always played catcher so that was why we put the ashes behind home plate. Then we picked up some chicken and side dishes, plates, silverware and soda and went on a picnic down by Lake Michigan. More digging in dirt for Gabe!! I loved just sitting back and watching all the interaction between the kids! I loved it and I know Don was watching and very happy to see what was going on! The night before everyone stayed at my house. That was so great to see all the kids,big and little, playing together and laughing! I got lots of pix. Don would be so happy! I cried that night but those were happy tears. I kept some of the ashes for myself. I just could not give them all up.
I will keep them in the wooden urn in my bedroom. I miss him immensely but am beginning to realize I am going to live and be able to go on. I don't like it, but this is my life now. I am loving having the grandkids here. Naomi comforted me the evening after we did the ashes. She knew I was sad and wanted me to know Papa would always be with us in our hearts and we have a lot of special memories. I was touched by her concern and surprised by the depth of her understanding. Love both of the grandkids dearly!
I'll write later and tell you all how the rest of the week is going. I am just glad to realize that I am going to be able to go on. There is hope for all of us!