Elle - Rhett's mom
  • Female
  • Clearwater, FL
  • United States
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Elle - Rhett's mom's Friends

  • Barbara Rieger
  • David, BERNIE's dad
  • Daphne vaughn (Anthony's Mom )
 

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At 12:00am on January 5, 2016, Barbara Rieger said…

Hey Elle, how is the weather in Clearwater?

This afternoon it was really windy and I opened my umbrella as I headed to the store to check out and see if I could find something. The umbrella turned inside out and I went back to return it to the car. Glad to say I found a really nice warm hat and it's really chic looking too. I think the weather has turned to winter here in New Jersey. Do you need to wear a coat yet?

People who don't walk a mile in someone else's shoes will never be able to understand. I walk on top of my pain, around it, through it but it's always there. However, I do believe in living my life and doing what I can to be with other people. I did that immediately. It's like falling off a bicycle and then getting up and trying again and again. The scars will always be there. But sometimes they may open up when it's least expected. I hate it that my son isn't here. Today one lady asked me if I was alone. I told her I had a husband and it's a good thing because I have no one else. I know she has grand children but I believe is a widow. She also has children. I often wonder why people ask some of the questions they ask. People have no idea the knife I feel sometimes when some things are said. I'm thinking of another situation just a couple of weeks ago. I was really angry. That's another story and I'll tell you if you want to know if you ask. I remedied it after reading something from Acts 26:20 that was recommended by someone on chat from Legacy who told me she just volunteered. It made a world of difference to how I felt. Sometimes there are answers to some things. Not all things but we can and deserve to feel better regardless of our situation. Oh my goodness it's just about 1am and I need to brush and floss my teeth (what I have left of them). LOL  God Bless and May this new year be a healthy and happy one for you. Warm Regards, Barbara

At 5:11pm on December 30, 2015, Barbara Rieger said…

Hi Elle, you're totally right. People don't understand that haven't experienced the situation. Some people may think they understand and say what they think will help. Yes, it's true as you said it may not be as intense as the first day. Nonetheless, our boys are always lurking in the corner somewhere. I hear the word motorcycle when I watching TV and I feel all shook up inside. Nonetheless, it's okay for some reason for me to say it. Maybe because I somehow can say the word motorcycle to describe to someone else who has lost a child so they can understand what just a little bit of what happened. I tend to be a little nosey but actually want to know something words so I can add something to possibly remedy words with validation. You're right time does not heal the emotional wounds. There will be scars and sometimes if we are not ready we are unable to protect the scar from opening up. I've been upset and decided I didn't like a woman that was actually pumping me. That is so wrong to put a mother in the corner and ask too many questions. I can say I really don't like the woman. She just isn't as intelligent as may think she is. If you haven't had time to think about it I'd like to make a suggestion to possibly do what I did. I had gone to a bereavement group. It was at a funeral home and every person lost a relative not necessarily a child. I couldn't stand going to one when this woman came because she lost her second husband. Then spoke of her alcoholic son that she was enabling. That was it I was done. One day in the community newspaper I saw an add for a bereavement group sponsored by a group at the same church my son made first communion and confirmation at. It was a good thing I did by attending for 7 times. I couldn't attend the one meeting I had to go for physical therapy for injections in my knees. The ladies were so kind. It was a wonderful experience. I hope that you can find something to help you too. Take good care of yourself and eat, rest and do whatever else you can do to help yourself.

Hugs,

Barbara

At 10:35pm on December 29, 2015, Barbara Rieger said…

Hi Elle, I saw your post after I re-registered. I have lost all the friends that I had and all the posts to friends on this site for the time when I first joined.

Sorry that you are here too. This isn't a club any of want to belong to.

I have lost my only child Joe when a drunk driver took him from me. Joe was on his motorcycle. He said he felt free on it. I know if he had a choice he would have chose to exit on his motorcycle. It will be 6 years this April 2016.

Your son Rhett is good looking young man. If you want to talk about it I'd be glad to hear about him. just click on my name and we can talk any time you need to do so. I type fast and sometimes make typing errors but don't bother to proof-read. I see you joined as a member March 16th. I'll add you as a friend it helps to make one feel connected and gives support. I have no problem connecting with people as I continued doing so immediately. Oh by the way I have a friend in I believe it's Clearwater Florida in Safety Harbor. I haven't heard from her in a long while. She was a life-line to me when I got my divorce. And when I told her I was getting remarried to another person she asked me if I was sure. That was more years ago than I can believe. I'll look for a response from you if you're up to it. I believe in encouraging anyone who needs it.

Barbara

 
 
 

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