Hi Paula, I am so glad to hear your dad is doing much better. I will pray for him and hope for a speed recovery.
It was my moms birthday on 8/28...she would have turned 63. She loved to wear scarves in the winter and putting on perfume. On her birthday I wrapped myself in her scarf and smelled her perfume. I felt as if she was right there next to me. I miss sleeping next to her during her illness. My brother has accepted her death,but I haven't. I don't feel like I have accepted the fact that I won't ever see her again. I still feel like I am in a bad dream..since we were close that it's impossible to comprehend that she is gone. Sometimes out of the blue it hits me and it's very painful, hopeless feeling of despair and most of the time I am very numb and I can talk about her without shedding a tear, as if shes gone on vacation and she will be back soon. I am single and my brother is married with 2 small kids.He is the perfect brother and I am very lucky to have him but yet I still feel very much alone. My dad and mom are gone.No one can replace them.
It's sad how that even in your fathers sickness his second family is still cold towards your family. People in these hard times should come together. I am sure this gives your dad bad energy. I hope there will come a time when there will be some closure for both families.
There are so many places I planned on traveling with my mom. I was waiting for her to retire..we were going to go to Italy. She always talked about Italy. We have somany vacation tapes together that I am not ready to watch yet. I still havent seen or visited her grave.
It's such a pleasure getting yr messages.
God bless you and your family
Hi Liria, Thank you for your beautiful reply. Very sweet. I do still feel alot of the same things you are now. Many many times i have an urge when i get home to call my mom and tell her of the days events.... my daughter and i are very spiritual people. When you say you still see your mom, we can see ours too. Not in the same physical form, but little flickers out of the corner of our eyes... even feeling her presence, during times of stress, joy, and she continues to warn us of danger! My mom loved birds. To her, many people reminded her of a certain bird lol.... For me its always been red tail hawk. For my daughter its a red cardinal. Today, we had both birds swoop down in front of our car on our way to see my dad at the hospital. He has improved!!!!!! he is in his end stages of Parkinsons, but he is much better than the last time i spent the night. He doesn't remember me being there... so i gave him a recap :) He was pleasant and witty! So, i am feeling better about his conditon now. Which of course could change again .. but for now he is a joy! Much healing, true.. again, i so want to talk to my mom.. hear her voice, but in my heart i know she now sees and hears all! My warning from the birds was because his second family came, and they were so very cold and bitter we had to leave swiftly. Their burden not ours. I still have some more "road trips" to take with my mom (she was cremated), and i know she is not in the box, but i promised to take her to her favorite places.. and i am still on that journey. I hope you do feel a little peace in knowing your mom is still there for you in spirit and when our day comes our moms will be waiting for us at the gates :) Did you have any angelic experiences while taking care of your dear mom? We did. If you'd like to share anything i'd be honored to read. Everyones healing is different! I found a counselor who is wonderful, and i read some literature on grieving, and i can see the "stages" we have been through- at times we thought we were going crazy. (which is very normal) I still have boxes in my kitchen of my moms things, i havent unpacked yet. I was told i will know when i am ready to do it. Not today. One of my favorite sayings is: what might be right for one, may not be right for another! Your closeness with your mom was very unique and so will your grieving be~~ God Bless you Liria and please keep writing. I'm asking any who read this, to please add a little prayer for my dad's recovery. thank u!