Thank you Lisa. I never realized what this pain felt like before this. Losing anyone you love is hard. But with suicide, I think it really is so much worse. There is all the what if's and should haves to get through. This past week has been the longest of my life, seeming like it has lasted years. I do miss her so much. I carry a picture of us together on a recent road trip every where with me. I refuse to take off my charm that she gave me. I think everyone thinks I have went nuts. But I am not quiet ready to give her up yet, you know?? And I look for her. I know in my mind that she isn't coming back. But I dialed her cell today. I am not sure why really. Just needed to hear the voicemail pick up. Some days are good. Some days are terrible. But I just keep breathing, and putting one foot in front of the other. I do miss her. I miss life being fun. It doesn't feel like it will ever feel that way again, you know?? And I definitely want the weeks to get shorter.