Lisa; I saw your comment and I am wondering how you are doing in the New y

Year.. Hopefully it brings Good Health and Happiness to you. I lost my husband Ron in September of 2010 and it is still so new. I am trying to put one foot in front of the other and taking one day at a time but it is very difficult. My Ron was such a happy person "Smiley Guy" and I know he not want me to be sad, and I am doing my best.   Good Luck to you.

Lisa...Yes..you will see..it's hard to believe, but the sun will shine again...it helped me to go back to the things that I did before meeting my husband..my artwork..we were married for 16 years..now time has passed..and remember..above all...he would want you to live a full life and be happy..Jackie

Hi, Lisa..You have touched my heart with your story..I am going with a man who has chest pain periodically..he is a very hard worker..a perfectionist..and he works out daily ..a tough routine..right now he is moving railroad ties..building a wall for his dad..I love him very much..I lost my husband years ago..at age 37..and lost my beloved daughter, Lavender iris, 4 years ago..she was 27 and was the light of my life..it was a tragedy..I wish you love and recovery, beautiful girl..I know the agony that you feel..please write to me..I just joined..and I will be a friend..With understanding..Vail

Lisa , some days iam thankfull that we did not know that he would pass so suddenly So would not dweel that ehw uld leave and i Would have to say goodbye.In some senses i feel as if SImon did know he was going to pass and that is why he stayed at our freinds house and did it there ?Weird i know but its like a sick animal they wonder awayfrom the ones they loe and pass alone .Easter was very hard alone .Our daughters first and i know that it is just the beggining of the year full of "firsts" in two ways.One from him not being here and two my babys first in everything .I have found it very hard to get my self to go to the cemetery and talk to him .I went once last week and i found it was a totally step backwards i have jsut come out of my extreme funk after that and i dont wanna go back for a while.Another thing i find weird is that i cannot dream of him ?I try so hard to go to bed thinking of him to catch a sound of his voice or a glimpse of his smile in my dreams and he never comes .People have told me its cause iam hurting to bad and when it slows away hemay come to me .I feel like it is all slipping away fromo me so fast .I try and try to remmeber things simple things that filled our everyday lives like thesound of his voice when he called me on his way hoem from work and the way he said goodnight or I love you .
I miss the way his feet would touch mine in bed , or how he would make me feel safe watching tv on the couch and i wentto bed before him .
I cant believ it has been two months a 5 days yet it feels like a year that I havent seen him .I am struggeling with the fact that The town i live in is small and they all seem to be past this situation and where i feel like i havent even begun a healing process and it inrages me because they just dont get it that it was my whole life , all the time .everything in my house reminds me of him , the grocery store the restaurant we ate at .I am not even the same person do you feel that way ?I feel i have changed in to a new person since he has left that is nothing like he one i was beofre ?
How can i be that person half of who that was is gone .
Oh Lisa it is such a emotionaly draining feeling feeling sad and sick and lonley all thetime is hard to feel like it will ever get better .
Hear from you soon
Kim

Lisa ,
Thankyou for writeing back to me ,I have been feeling very closed off from the world and it is nice to have someone to chat to that can really say "I understand".I met Simon when I was 20 in the town i still live in Jasper Alberta Canada.Our town Population is 4000 so when i saw him i was taken back by th fact i had never seen this scruffy ,handsom man around town.He was the type of guy to me that quikly turned into him being mybest freind and my loveer in a very short time .We had waited almost 4 years to get pregnant and then we had Sophie jUst this past July she will be 9 months on the 18 of this month.SImon was a logger and a man who cared only to help an please others even if that ment his life was put on the back burner .He often complained he had chest pains but past them off regularly as stress and anxiety as the stress of a new baby and a full time job was a lot.We really both were in the prime of our lives just getting ready to buy our first home and get married next summer .He came home from work on the 7 of Feb and wanted to go for beers with his guy freinds and let loose as he had been workin like a dog for 5 months .But he never came home and i knew something was wrong .I police man showed up at my door later that day and that was it Iknew.Really the crazy part is that earlier that day i felt this wave come over me that sent me to think that something was very very wrong .He passed out on our freinds couch and our freind thought he was sleeping but found him dead a few hours later .He died in his sleep from a heart dieses they say after the otopsy that he had for years ?e didnt know ?
The pain and shock is still so vivid .
tell me about your situation , how are you dealing ?
it is so nice (not nice in anyway )but knowing iam not alone i search for others feeling the same way its like and addiction now .I hope to hear form you soon
kim