My daughter died over two years ago at age 54 after a long illness. At a Christmas party last month, I saw a woman who had been a friend of hers when she was in graduate school.   She walked up to me, introduced herself, hugged me and said that she just wanted to say how sorry she was. Saying you are sorry is good, but I was not thinking about anything but fun until then. Why wait two years and hit me with a reminder at an elegant party? I live in the same house and have the same listed…