Lynn
  • Female
  • Glennie MI
  • United States
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My name is Lynn. I lost my beautiful 29 yr old daughter on Mar 11-2010.
The mystery of her final breaths haunt me, can't quit thinking about if she suffered, tried to get help or whether or not her friend could of saved her. I hope these feelings subside, my heart feels like it has been ripped out.

Lynn's Blog

If I only knew

Posted on May 10, 2010 at 9:23pm 2 Comments

Dawn if I only knew all the pain your were suffering but trying to hide, I would not of wasted a minute to be by your side. Your tears were my tears and there were many. Now it is different, the tears are mine only. I think about you every day, and all I can do is take a moment to pray, that all this pain will someday just go away. Family members do not call , Its like nothing ever happened.

How sad it is to go from day to day trying to smile and be there for your family when inside feels… Continue

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At 3:58am on January 11, 2011, Rev.James Durden said…
HI Lynn,we both share the what if's,my daughter was serving the Lord and the tumor that she had when she was five yrs. old left a blood vessel that weakened and burst and that haunts me every day just as Dawn's life haunts you,when life takes an uncertain turn and they are swiftly gone we wonder what if and I pray your Pain and heartache eases as I do mine,sometimes her mother tells me to not grieve myself so hard for her but at times Lynn I just can't help it as I know you feel the same but I know n't have changed the outcome so we just have to live with the what if's.Be Blessed
At 1:41am on January 2, 2011, Rev.James Durden said…
Hi Lynn,I wish you a happy new year and I know Dawn is at the center of this year and I hope that it carries you a long way to know that your love stands at the forefront of all that's around you, keep dawn ever before you but know that your heart will always remind you of the precious child that walked in your midst and keep your family up as you go on without her her love has not waned one bit so be ever in the hands of the Lord.The Preacher!!!
At 10:40am on December 27, 2010, Rev.James Durden said…
Hi Lynn,Christmas has come and gone and my heart raced as I looked at the tree Christmas,I just smiled and knew my baby was here with me and there was joy in my heart for I have not forgot the ever present smile when she was around as I know your Dawn was smiling at your side.Lynn think of the joyus times and not the pain because she's in a place where there's no pain nor crying and she longs for your smile and the joy of knowing she's alright. 
At 1:26am on December 14, 2010, Rev.James Durden said…

Hi Lynn,as I read your blog it brought tears yo my eyes,as I know your heart does feel raw but God's grace will calm your heart for he knows our pain.I often wonder why the family acts like they've forgotten our children,I live with this same horror as no one says a word and I got a little upset but then an answer was given;because my heart hurts they don't have the same pain that you and I have,they might miss them but not with the same intensty that you and I have ,our babies were our heart.Be Blessed this Christmas.    

At 8:38pm on November 13, 2010, Rev.James Durden said…
Hi Lynn,you answered the question yourself when you said your daughter is a born-again believer,Romans 11:25 says the gifts of God are without repentance and God did not take her salvation back so be at peace my friend,his love is to gracious for that regardless of how we mangle up our lives God still holds us in his hands and no devil are any other thing may take our salvation.Much love the Preacher!!
At 7:01pm on August 18, 2010, Rev.James Durden said…
Hi Lynn,its good to hear from you and to answer your question,Dawn did not lose her salvation.according to (Romans 11:29) the gifs and callings of God are without repentance meaning tat God does not take back the gift he gave upon her profession of faith,you example can be Lot in the o.t.(Gen.19) Lot moved among the wicked people of Sodom & Gommorah and was vexed with the filthy ways of that place but God still saved Lot & all that would leave with him.Remember Lynn Dawn is covered by your faithand also hers,many people have died after having gone backwards,Jesus said the flesh profits nothing it is the spirit that gives life,and we never kow what they asked God and he answered.So rest at ease your prayers have kept that mustard seed faith and that's all you need with the Lord.Be Blessed my friend!!
At 6:13pm on August 18, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi lynn thanks for talking it helps to hear others stories. I don't know for sure what my son was doing he lived with his father. Michigan to florida is a long way how did she end up so far away? I moved to ky from md 4 yrs ago and feel if i had moved close this would not have happened i cannot change that now. your 16 yr old lives with you? I was having marital problem for the last 2 yrs that i think drained me and i didn't do what i could for my son though he lived with father and brother. and they knew they may have tried but not as much as i would have if i knew. I blew it off as him trying to avoid work and then somehow blaming his family. the last time i saw him was christmas at ski trip. thank god for that. but i truly wish i had gone to stay at his house a few days and get inside his mind. it is just devestating. yep i know the sleeping drugs are addictive i have done with and without them just want some relief and to relax. i have bipolar so am not sure if the mind works harder than those without. Carrie L
At 11:45pm on August 17, 2010, Rev.James Durden said…
Hi Lynn,I know you don't know me but I'm the Resident input person and all of my love goes out to you and your family.I know you wished you were with Dawn but as I said to Valerie if you had known that day was coming you would have tried to circumvent it,but God in his great wisdom intervened and he was there with Dawn instead,he didn't take her free will away but did catch her as she fell.He caught her for you so that you would question him instead.You notice I have used the word instead twice and the reason is that God is way ahead of us and he's not surprised at anything that happens,I know he caught my daughter that saturday she fell because her mom was going upstairs to take her to the hospital and it was too late she fell in the bathroom and never regained consciousness,we laid over her and prayed over her and anointed her with oil but she never came too.I'm crying as I write this too you because I want you to be at peace about your lovely Dawn and don't feel guilty,as I did the same and the Dr. told us not to feel guilty as there was nothing we could have done even if we were in the hospital and I cried in that hospital because there was nothing I could do I couldn't lay hands on her and bring her back if that had been the case I tried and many others did also and some even got mad at me when I said she was gone,but they later apoligized .You have all of Dawn's beautiful heart to remember and not any of the things that caused her demise,those things can't and should not be your focus this day or any day because they were her tormentors and they shall not be yours,they are an enemy that was buried with her and dead they are Lynn,love is the word for you and Dawn as it is for Kisha and I,as she loved me before she lefr and I'll always love her as much then and more than ever now.So my prayer for you is to try and raise up and live with your family and for Dawn that way you can pass the day by without feeling raw on the inside.Be Blessed.
At 7:27pm on August 17, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi Lynn thanks for writing. our children passed very close.. very sad. it sucks we were not with them did she live with her dad? i think a lot about stuff too. i don't know i wish my son had written something. i wish i could have talked to him. did you talk to her about her depression. yep loosing custody is bad but the kid loosing its mom is worse. today i was fighting with my husband so it took my mind off it some. I took medicine again last night I sleep better with it. Think I'll take it again tonight. I wake up thinking about it.It kind of wears you out. Carrie L
At 7:51pm on August 15, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi lynn thanks for writing. I also have other children almost 16 and 20 I wish I had more. someone wrote to me and it was so real that if we were younger we would have another. but we are not. my son struggled also but since i did not live with him i do not know the extent. they said he would not listen to anyone. and he did some strange stuff like talk about weird stuff and had a fire with a fan on it in the middle of summer. I just wish i had thought he would die. and talked to him about it i know you wish the same thing. carrie L
 
 
 

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