Lynn today is August 6th and I just saw that I had something left on my in box from you. The photos just above this comment are just lovely. I can't post photos I'm technically challenged at times. So my husband says about me. And he is right about that. You may want to post these photos on the community board then people can click on it and make them larger. Didn't I read somewhere that you like to be in the garden? Or was it someone else? May you find happiness and peace whenever you make the choice. That's what I have to do. First I plan what I'm going to do and make the decision to have happiness as I enjoy something I'm doing. In fact I'm doing that right now. Because I'm communicating with someone who is in the same boat as I am.
I'm must tell you something about one birthday I had. My birthday is in January and it fell on the third Thursday of the month when we have our garden club meeting. I had my hair done, wore a really cool looking outfit, put on make-up and a pair of earrings and a friend I invited came with her friend as a guest to the meeting. I didn't tell people it was my birthday but I felt good and actually was happy and enjoyed myself. I believe that sometimes we can be as happy as we make up our minds to be. It's a choice. Nonetheless, I hate that my son isn't here and I'm left childless and teed off when I'm not busy doing something. Lately, I've been watching the Hallmark channel with fantasy stories where some make me cry tears of joy. I had a great feeling and cried at the end with watching Miracle of Christmas. If you ever see this movie you'll know how it feels to experience when someone comes back to life. It was a great feeling. But unfortunately, not in the cards for me but it helped if only for a little while. But I'd watch that movie again to experience that miraculous feeling I felt tonight. I hope you have the Hallmark Channel and can watch the movie. May peace be with you and everyone here!
Thank you for your response. Christopher was 19 when he died. I am sorry for your loss. I lived in Montana many years and had 5 of my 8 children there. I would love to get back there but hasn't happened yet. I have lived in Co. now for 18 years. It has only been 8 months since his death. I am thankful for family/friends and their love and prayers. I do believe in God so if it is this difficult when one believes and has faith in Him, how much more difficult would it be without Him and family/friends?I had been planning to move to the Livingston area due to a marriage but that all fell apart. I have had to really reconcile the fact that had it worked out, Chris would still be alive today. I lived in Red Lodge for a long, long time and still miss Montana and its beauty along with ex family and friends. I guess today will just breathe and take the next step. Thank you again for your kind words.
Lynn, I just left a message for Dru, and it could easily apply to you. I lost my live-at-home son, and after 26 months, still hurt. I find it hard to believe. But doing a garden for his memory has helped so much. You can't go outside, but try for a plant, many if you have the space and the means, that grows a bit inside the house. It will show you her spirit, and bring you comfort. I wish you strength, courage and peace.
Philodendron Scandens is hard to kill, and does grow nicely. Peace.
I hope you have a calm and peaceful a Thanksgiving. This situation stinks but it's been helpful to me to be able to vent here. No one knows what we are all going thru, for me, I just do whatever comes next, cry when I need to. Much courage to you, Martha
Thank you for your reply Lynn,
I am so sorry that you lost your daughter. It is even newer and fresher for you. I lost all interest in gardening this year, and my gardens have had to fend for themselves. This is a terrible and painful road. Could you tell me about your daughter?
It is terrible that you needed to find this sight but you have found a wonderful group of people who care and understand. Nothing will magically remove the pain but talking is an excellent pressure relief. We will listen anytime you feel like talking. Grief is not a destination but a journey that each person travels in their own way and in their own time. Yes, you will feel similar and your story will mirror others and it is sooooooo helpful knowing others understand. Still, grief is as individual as a fingerprint. Some, not on this sight, will make statements like, " get over it" or "it's time to move on". Please don't let it get to you, they just don't get it!
Lynn, I'm so sorry you had to find our site, Loss of a child...but I hope that you can find some help here, if you have any questions, I would be happy to try to answer them, here is my own email address email@example.com. Please feel free to share your story, or ask questions.