Margie, I am so sorry for your loss and even sorrier you now have joined us on the rollercoaster called grief.  The loss of a spouse is like no other it is toe curling and heart wrenching grief.  It is a baby step process where you will be   doing the grief tango, one step forward and two steps back.  Take each day as a new beginning and no matter what, tomorrow always comes. But you have come to a great site where we are all grieving, we are all in different stages of grief and we pass no judgements but we truly understand your pain.  Keep coming here even if it to read posts and soon you will realize your feelings are normal and no you are not crazy.  Hugs, Jane P.