Dearest Margy, to me when someone has lost a love in their life, I consider their new place of being as holy ground: they have and are walking through fire. I appeciate your words of comfort and for even writing back.
I find each new day a new thought a new memory and a new hope for a dream, a sign, a memory and a piece of Barry to come to me like a sweet gentle breeze on the hottest of days. I dont know why but I never thought of grief as a hotness needing a cool breeze but now that i am in such grief, it feels that way to me--the breezes are barely there now, almost like a hope of a whisper from far away seeming to lose me as my pain squeezes me.
How you are??? Are you doing anything to somehow honor the memory of your lovedone? even the small mudande things we did with them, is so huge now! Barry and I used to go to 2nd hand store and I finally got the nerve to go without him last week and it was sad but I felt a small whisper of normal hope. I dont want it go be NORMAL AGAIN! I feel I’ll lose HIM forever! It’s all so confusing isnt it? Its like now with the grief, in some strange way is all we’ve got left of them. How can we ever get over it? We cant!! We just learn to feel the cool breeze even if it’s a million miles away, we hope it comes someday
Margy, God bless you!! I am also suffering such a great profound and unexpected loss of my dearest friend, mentor, former lover, boyfriend, my teacher, a "parent" a soul mate and all that I wish to have on this earth and more--he was to me. He died just 3 wks ago in his sleep.
Margy, I know what you mean by "it's hard to tell people how you think of her all the time" ME TOO! it's all I can think of or feel...(I am actually numb and in shock). I am suffering all the stage of grief, all at once. I am even angry at Barry for leaving me.
I am a Christian and believe he will find me and I will find him again, but I for now, don't know If I can manage this pain....
Margy, hang in there. Your friends sounds so amazing! she knew you loved her. I wonder if I had been the one, would Barry be as much in pain as I am now? the zillion feelings and thoughts are like a storm in my soul.
I suppose I should walk the dogs and just walk walk walk. I try to find him daily, I keep thinking he'll walk through the door.
Blessings and gentle hugs, Vee, Colorado (grieving the loss of Barry)