Maria M
  • Female
  • Greencastle, PA
  • United States
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Seven months since he left me....

Posted on September 29, 2012 at 3:25pm 0 Comments

Almost 7 months since I lost my husband Keith. I think I cry more now than I did in the weeks after his death. It doesn't take much to set me off (a song,a smell,a memory.) I am trying to keep it together for our children & his mother. But all I really want to do is lock myself in a room, assume the fetal position & cry until I can't cry anymore. But I can't. Must function, must pretend I have it all under control, when inside I feel I am slowly & painfully dying from missing…


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At 3:24pm on October 26, 2012, Cindy said…
Maria, I'm only going on 10 weeks and I find myself in the Sam condition. I don't know how to get through the holidays. I would love to talk to you, and let you know the signs and a dream I had. If you need my email it is Look forward to helping each other. Cindy
At 4:13am on October 2, 2012, Jane P. said…

Maria, I am 15 months into this and I hate every day of being here.  And yes there are two sides of me.  The one side that I share with the outside world as I try to move forward and the other side is the one who lives alone in our home crying uncontrollably.

I have no children and a very small family who never contacts me so that just makes me a lonely person you have more on your plate as you learn to deal with your own grief as you try to be strong for your children and family.  It is tough I have no answers but I can honestly say I know how you feel, it is a baby step process and just hang in there.  I cry every day some days my tears are few and others I cry myself into dehydration but I push myself forward.  Come here often even if it is to read posts.  You will see you are not alone in your feelings and you are not going crazy. You are trying to find a new normal.  Sending many hugs, Jane P.

At 5:36pm on August 28, 2012, didi said…

Maria, sorry for your loss. Don´t be too demanding on yourself, I hope sharing our grief will ease the pain. Here for you, I lost my husband to cancer 2 years ago.

At 4:55am on August 28, 2012, Jane P. said…

Maria, I am so sorry for your loss and even sorrier you had to join us on this roller coaster ride called grief.  It truly is a baby step process so take each day as a new beginning.  Try not to make any life altering decisions within this first year, this is the year of disbelief and feeling numb.  Even with that said, there are NO timeframes for grieving, there are no set rules in which you need to follow. The grief associated with loosing your soul mate, best friend, your other half is like no other.  You have come to a great web site, where we are all grieving, we are all in different stages of grief.  We pass no judgements we try to offer advice and give many cyber hugs.  Stay with us even if it is to vent or read posts.  Hugs Jane P. 

At 12:05am on August 28, 2012, Lori P. said…

Maria, so sorry for your loss, welcome to this site of us widowers and widows. We all are traveling down this path of grieving and you will find comfort with everyones story. Our stories are the same but we all have found that we deal with it in our way. I lost my husband 5 months and 1 week from today and I am finding that now I am able to even post and write my feelings. I have read others comments and have been sitting back reading everyones comments and I have found that I am just in the same steps of grieving. Keep comming to this site and if you feel the need to comment, then do so, If not just read the comments and you will find that you are not alone. God bless you and trust in God he is with you and if you ask for his protection he will give you his comfort.  


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