Maria, I am 15 months into this and I hate every day of being here.  And yes there are two sides of me.  The one side that I share with the outside world as I try to move forward and the other side is the one who lives alone in our home crying uncontrollably.

I have no children and a very small family who never contacts me so that just makes me a lonely person you have more on your plate as you learn to deal with your own grief as you try to be strong for your children and family.  It is tough I have no answers but I can honestly say I know how you feel, it is a baby step process and just hang in there.  I cry every day some days my tears are few and others I cry myself into dehydration but I push myself forward.  Come here often even if it is to read posts.  You will see you are not alone in your feelings and you are not going crazy. You are trying to find a new normal.  Sending many hugs, Jane P.

Maria, sorry for your loss. Don´t be too demanding on yourself, I hope sharing our grief will ease the pain. Here for you, I lost my husband to cancer 2 years ago.

Maria, I am so sorry for your loss and even sorrier you had to join us on this roller coaster ride called grief.  It truly is a baby step process so take each day as a new beginning.  Try not to make any life altering decisions within this first year, this is the year of disbelief and feeling numb.  Even with that said, there are NO timeframes for grieving, there are no set rules in which you need to follow. The grief associated with loosing your soul mate, best friend, your other half is like no other.  You have come to a great web site, where we are all grieving, we are all in different stages of grief.  We pass no judgements we try to offer advice and give many cyber hugs.  Stay with us even if it is to vent or read posts.  Hugs Jane P.