Marta Felber
  • Winston Salem, NC
  • United States
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Grief Expressed

Marta Felber

Marta Felber, author of Grief Expressed: When a Mate Dies and
Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies, has held many
counseling and consulting positions in the U.S. and abroad,
including serving for 10 years as director and head counselor at a
center for expatriates in Jakarta, Indonesia.

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Marta Felber's Blog

Make Time for Grieving (Even if it means saying no)

Posted on August 11, 2009 at 4:30pm 9 Comments

It’s hard for me to say no. With the best of intentions, many people want to keep me busy. It’s their “cure” for my missing Joe. I, too, thought I must get involved, and my calendar is filled. What I really need is more time to be alone and let myself grieve.



I’m saying no to:





Potluck suppers. I don’t feel like preparing food or making small talk. I would rather stay home with a good book.



Singles groups. The members are…

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New Year's Day Can Be Any Day

Posted on June 1, 2009 at 4:00pm 1 Comment

Last January I was a complete washout! I allowed a disturbing telephone conversation with a family member to push me into deep depression. Any thoughts of evaluating my past year and making resolutions were abandoned. So I’ve chosen TODAY as my New Year’s Day instead. I take stock of my life.



WHERE HAVE I BEEN? I’ve been to the bottom! Those periods of deep mourning for Joe were the absolute pits. I went through it, as I knew I had to, but thank God the worst is…

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I’ll Be Seeing You (But I Know You Are Not There)

Posted on May 10, 2009 at 4:00pm 2 Comments

The man coming toward me on the street looked like Joe. I stood staring, my breath coming in little gasps. He was tall and thin. He even walked like Joe. He passed me at the corner. It certainly was not my husband. The tears came. What I wouldn’t give to see Joe walking toward me again!



Joe, I remember you:



Coming up the steps to the deck with an armload of firewood.



Bending over the saw in your workshop.



Sitting in your chair, hands held…

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How to Make It Through the Night

Posted on April 5, 2009 at 4:00pm 2 Comments

Ideas for Getting to Sleep and Surviving the Long Nights



I can pretend during the daytime that Joe is away, working outside or in his workshop. Alone for the evening meal and crawling into an empty bed confirm the worst! The loneliness for him descends like a shroud and there is no escape. What do I do to get to sleep easier? And what about those long hours in the middle of the night when I wake and can’t get back to sleep?



STICK TO A REGULAR…

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