"You have us, MARSHA. I know it might seem insignificant , but we are here. All I have here in Oklahoma, are Bobs relatives, and I am only completely comfortable with his sister. I have some serious trust issues with most people. They offer to assist…"
"Ok part 2 for STEVE. Honestly, there IS a point to this, STEVE..but I am going to give a condensed version as telling it last night threw me into a huge depression...it is really too soon for me to b writing this, but WE CANNOT BLAME OURSELFS for…"
"STEVE I have so much more to say, but I cannot do it tonight. Please remember, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG and IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT HE DIED. Bob died of a combination of lung, brain and stomach cancer, but he had a bicycle accident around 2010' when…"
"STEVE...was Marks death unexpected? I don,t understand why they called the police when u called the ambulance..oh, wait, I just "got it". Bob died at home too...but hospice told me NOT to call an ambulance, but to call THEM when he…"
"For Rolland, Sara and Marsha, thank you...but for Steve and Charles, I don,t know what to say..only that I wish I could wrap my arms around you, and let you both cry on my shoulders, and take away some of your painful agony."
"Ok I have a question. After your loved one died, did you become FEARFUL? Of everything? I did a bit of research, and I guess it is common for people who have lost someone they cared deeply for. My fears are ridiculously irrational, magnified by a…"
"That was so lovely, and beautifully said. I am kinda having a bad physical day with my knee, in a lot of pain, but reading your post, HAROLD, actually made some of the pain INSTANLY go away, as I read your words, and thanked God, yes, I was loved,…"
"Yes, SAra..Bob and I ALWAYS said "I LOVE YOU every day several times to each other. It always surprised me when I discovered most couples DIDN'T do this! I am glad we did. I am watching Long Island Medium right now...then it,S beddy-bye…"
"I am sorry to ask this, but to those of you who've
had realistic dreams about your loved one, or "seen" them while you were awake..did your partner die suddenly, as in you had no time to say goodbye? I have wondered if that fact was…"
"Last night I dreamt of Bob...but this time we were sort of relating to each other..it was NOT a dream visit..in a nutshell, he had contacted real estate people, and got an apartment, without me..he wa talking to the real estate people, not to me,…"
"THanks, Beard and Marsha...yes I like coming to this group. People say platitudes hoping they r saying the correct thing, but we all "get it" here.
Something NEW hit me yesterday. I haven,t been here for about a week, as I,ve been…"
"Mary.Jane ... You're a goof, but a good one! LOL I am so very sorry you're not feeling well and it amazes me you always joke around or make light of things with all the things you are going through. You hang in…"
Mary.Jane ... You're a goof, but a good one! LOL I am so very sorry you're not feeling well and it amazes me you always joke around or make light of things with all the things you are going through. You hang in there girl!
Hi Mary Jane,
Thank you for the friend request - sometimes this is easier to use, with the added advantage of being free to say things more candidly without offending or confusing the other family members in Bereaved Spouses. I get it completely about how frustrating it is to post sometimes - the same thing happens to me all the time, and on top of that I have Windows XP and a less than top drawer access through my phone co., mostly because of severe budget constraints. That's why I can't always get on and just write quickly when I want to, so believe me I won't think you rude for taking time to reply, and know you will excuse me too!
I won't keep blathering now, except to say I haven't read yours or any other posts for a few days, but your comment about waking up crying is so familiar to me - sometimes tears start gathering and running down my face without my hardly noticing it anymore...sadly it is such a familiar feeling that I just hope I'm not in a store or talking to a neighbor. With friends, or of course Steve, I don't worry about it because they aren't upset or uncomfortable, they just reach for my hand or pass the tissues calmly. Friends- TRUE friends - are the most precious thing to me after my beloved Larry, and now Steve.
If you are inclined, I am giving you my email address off this site, so we can exchange notes and/or photos without worrying about words being censored. No, I don't have a potty mouth, but you will find that some words and expressions that seem tame are blocked to avoid offending anyone. I think that's a good thing, but have to re-type things trying to figure out what was objectionable in my original post, and that gets tedious after awhile.
I hope this gets through, and am so glad you are joining the conversations now, because these folks here really are very kind and honest, and have pulled me back from the brink of madness more than once I assure you! Have a pleasant weekend, find some peace for yourself, and write whenever you feel like it - I'm listening, and don't be afraid of asking me stuff, because I'm pretty mello as a person.