Hi Mary. I'm so sorry for your loss . I lost my husband sept.24th 2012. Yes it has been a few years, but I still tear up when I talk about him. Yes it isn't as often, but it happened today a couple of times.It happens weekly. I don't even want to say it gets easier,I think it gets to be a part of life, that I will have the rest of my life. But that is okay, we had just celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary and he wanted us to renew our vows so we did.I have been with a man for a couple of years, but it isn't nothing like being with my husband. They are nothing alike, so don't think a new person will heal you, because it doesn't.My mom was diagnosed with cancer two months before my husband, he passed away 7 weeks to the day of diagnosis and my mother passed away in Oct.2014. I have a question for everybody. Does anyone that lost a spouse, feel like you don't belong? I have told people I feel like I don't belong anywhere.I go visit my kids or friends and I feel like I don't belong there, even with my boyfriend, I feel like I don't belong. I feel like a loss soul, even after 4 years.Does anybody else have these feelings? Sorry to go on and on. I wish all of you the best and God Bless you all.
It was so nice that you thanked us all for welcoming you - ofcourse you are welcome, and I feel confident that there will be many friends and sources of support and comfort for you here in our special family. As for myself, you have already helped me just by the kind things you have said to me and to others here... and this is why I feel so blessed and fortunate to have found this place. This is to me a group of people who heal themselves with every word and gesture offered to aid in the healing of someone else, or in it's most simple terms, we do unto others as we would have done unto us. Perhaps it might seem a little sentimental and even "corny", but I believe in this to my very core. It is the guiding principal which has carried me through many terrible storms throughout my life. This loss of my beloved Larry was by far the most catastrophic and damaging of them all, and it threatened to undo me, but when I found Legacy, and the outpouring of love and compassion I so needed, I vowed to return it whenever I could.
If you ever have trouble posting, or questions regarding comments or replies, someone here( no doubt much better at this than I) will be more than happy to walk you through the steps until you feel comfortable.
I very much like the photos you shared of Bob and your family - it is always nice to visualize the friends we are speaking with. Wishing you much peace today, dear friend, and I send a hug your way -
Me and Diane would have been Married 12 years next month it was second Marriage for both of us. December 21 went in for a procedure they had done before to open up one of the veins in her leg because of the pain she had a clotting disorder almost died 8 years ago from it. At the end of operation she started bleeding got into her lungs, they had to put her on a ventilator and was sedated. She developed a nasty infection had pneumonia twice. I stayed at the hospital with her, she was sedated the first 12 days, then they took her off sedation but still had to be on ventilator. She was there for six weeks and sent her home to local hospital to get off ventilator oh yeah her kidneys had shut down too. I was at hospital with her went for lunch got a call to come back she started bleeding from scar tissue of her tracheotomy was sedated again she seemed to be okay went home too sleep, got a call in the middle of the night her heart had stopped for 29 minutes. I got there and family was there had to make the decision to turn off ventilator she died in my arms. I went into shock when all this happened and didn't acknowledge how bad she was. I have had the same thing that people stop calling after a while I do have a friend that calls and we go out weekly for supper. I find it's best to just let your feelings go whatever the may be crying yelling whatever. I can't look too far ahead or I get anxious and depressed, I just go through the motions with the idea if I do the right things eventually I will be able to find a little peace and happiness.
Sorry for your loss, Tomorrow it will be 6 months since my wife died. I believe I have made some progress from 7 weeks, small steps but steps forward. I have found it to be helpful to post on this site, I encourage you to do also. The people on here are wonderful, and have only one thing in mind to learn to live with this the grief. There are people that are new like you and some that has been 5 years since there spouse died. It's nice to be able to post on here with people that understand what you are going through. Whatever you are feeling nobody passes judgment on this site. Take care and hope to here from you soon.