Mary Neary
  • Female
  • Juneau, AK
  • United States
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At 7:12pm on June 3, 2010, Mary Neary said…
Kristi, I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have a memorial page for your son? On memorial day we went out to the shrine where Aidan is interred. It is a beautiful place right next to the beach. I don't know what I would say if the boy who shot Aidan came up and talked to me. I think that I would have a hard time just talking without unloading my anger at what he had done. Maybe we are both better off not talking. How do you ever reconcile something like that? I don't have the answer. Mary
At 7:31am on June 3, 2010, kristi said…
mary,hi yes i do see the kid he lives like 5 miles from my house.I did have bad feelings every time i seen him,it gets easier.my other son had a choir concert and he came up and talked to me.not much said but at least we say hi and stuff.i guess when my sons birthday is and the angel day like people on here tell me it is an angel day not annivesary date they put that in my head along time ago.yes i still get mad at the kid and his mom can tell when i email and do stuff on the computer.i seen her on memorial day at the cemetary she timed it right.i usually cry at there or on the way home,my other son was in the car waiting so i couldnt.i try not to do stuff like cry in front of him.he was only 10 when my son passed away.but we laugh and cry and say stuff and if it was funny we laugh.yes you can be mad at the kid that took your son for a long time.i have not had my son for 3 and a half years and i still have anger that i cant let go.it will never go away,i will not probly never let it but my husband tells me to let it go and i say it is easier for you to say.yep i like to help people that are in the same situation.because i think my support group helped me so much so i want to help out to.i do help out when someone wants me to.thanks mary and i hope you keep in touch krisit
At 4:35pm on June 1, 2010, kristi said…
hi mary,yes it is good when you have someone that has gone throu the same thing as you,at least he got a little jail time.the kid that killed my son didnt get anything and that is were it hurts.wow that sounds like the same thing that happened to my son.crazy how you run into people that have the same thing done to them.mary i really want you to get your husband some help i know i am a stranger and everything,i will tell you a story maybe it will help you help your husband.my son that died his friend died last year from a stabbing to his eye.his dad took it real hard didnt eat didnt sleep and no medication or anything just depressed didnt come out of his room so amonth after her son died her husband died of sadness and stuff and it was sad to see her go throu that again.if you have a support group in your community please try and go to that.thats how i dealt with my stuff.the pain and anger inside of me and there is people that know what your going throu.like myself.but they know what you are going throu to the ones that are there.they will tell you to light a candle for 5 minutes and write in a journal the good thoughts about your son not the bad.take a cake out to the cemetary and his favorite food on his birthday,and talk about him like he is still here.dont hide him in the closet.thats what they say.my co-workers my parents my friends and everyone still talk about him like he was still there.for when he graduted in 2009 they planted a tree for him,gave us a yearbook.had fundraisers and everything for him and put his picture up in the waitroom at the school with his picture on it.so and the kids still are on face book and stuff and talk to me and say hi and stuff.it is a small community and they grieve just as long as you do i think,do you live in a small community?well i hate to bore you but i am here for you and you can put me as your friend anytime.if it helps you to talk i will be here as long as you need me ok.thanks kristi
 
 
 

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