Max, thank you so much for writing. Today is 10 months for me and I just can not believe it has been that long, 2 months away from the 1 year. I seem to be having the panic attacks again. I think I need to just get away for a while and be alone. Thanks for checking in on me. You and everyone else on this site I know are there for me and everyone else. HUGS Linda
You are in my prayers. Many times a certain day can become a hard one to bear, the date of the month of our beloved ones passing,an anniversary, a birthday or a holiday. I try to remember the good times on the happy occasions,but it is rough on the day of their passing to think of anything happy. God bless us all. Jerry
I was in the hospital. Another first w/o my Harry. It was awful. Sure my kids were there but it was not the same. I had 2 Dr. appts today and the weather was beautiful. I was outside for the first time in 10 days and I actually felt pretty good for that time. I don't know how long it will last but I'll take any moment (no matter how fleeting) that I can get. I was a little worried about going to the one doctor as he was the oncologist who took care of Harry. He was my doctor for a long time before that but entering that office for the first time after the death, I did get a little emotional. B/P was 200/78. I have Never had THAT high of b/p. When I got to the next office it was 162/78. She still didn't like that . Had to wait til it got to 144/84. I honestly believe I was more emotional than I felt. the last 10 days being sick ahve been absolute HELL. Pardon me. I wanted to just go and be with my Harry. Not in God's plan I guess. I hope it you are having SOME relief here and there. Memories can be tricky. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I cry.... because they make me want them to be for real again. Maybe that's selfish..if it is..then so be it.
I know you can relate. Mother's day will be hard and Father's day will be even worse. I wish we could fast-forward about 5 years.