This is my 1st time dealing with anything like this. I just lost my older sister to breast cancerand my only sister. She passed away on Aug. 20, 2010. I also wonder if I handled everything the right way. She went thru chemo, radiation & multiple surgies. The breast cancer spread to her skin, bones, lungs & liver. She was in so much pain. Every night go over those last few weeks of her life & wonder if I said all the right things
I know this too. I wonder about my sister who I lost to cancer after three returns of the tumor and ask - what if she had gone somewhere else for treatment the first time? - like the mayo clinic or something - I see those advertisements for cancer treatment centers on the television and know the fine print at the bottom says "results depicted are not typical" but it still tears me up - the what if? Could there have been anything else done to save her?- I know the answer is "no" - but I just wish so bad that something more could have been done so that she would have survived and beaten it and still be here. I miss her so much. Her doctor came to the funeral and approached me and a couple of other members of the family - she said: "we just wish we could have done more" So everything that could be done was done- but the end will never justify it for those of us who grieve.
Melinda I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss I have lost one sister in death and losing a loved one is never easy; I know that from personal experience however I will never know just how sad you must feel because no two people grieve in precisely the same way I pray that your faith will create inner peace. If I had one month to live I would pray to have a sister like you, your sister no doubt died in a peaceful state having you with her. Don’t torment yourself you did the best you could now she is not suffering any more look at what the bible says;“The living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:5) Melinda working through grief takes patience, for you may feel that you are on an emotional roller coaster. Remember that you do not have to be ashamed of your tears. Draw close to God in prayer, and he will draw close to you.” (James 4:8)
Melinda, I lost my sister Marilyn, last August after 16 years of her battling breast cancer, which then spread to her lungs. She was my best friend...and had a super positive attitude. Then, on May 25, 2010, my sister Lorraine died in California...we had not been close for many years as she was abusive to all of us. Two sisters lost in a 9 month period!! I am the youngest and have an older brother who had to travel to California to prepare everything for my sister's passing. He got to see her at the hospital and she was in poor condition. I always hoped that somehow we would all reconcile...now there's no chance for that. I don't feel any guilt, yet I have so many memories of us when we were young and had so much fun together! As we approach my sister's one year anniversary of her death, I am crying all the time. Out of nowhere, the tears start flowing. I feel like a basket case. I am involved in volunteer work one day a week and that helps. I try to get out of the house and talk a walk to get my mind off things. There's a July party boat (which my sister Marilyn wanted) to scatter her ashes at sea. It was in her will and she left money to pay for it. She wanted everyone to party and celebrate her life. She leaves four daughters behind (in their 30's and 40's). It's like losing her all over again! I am afraid I will be crying the whole day, when she would've wanted me to be strong and smiling for her girls. I believe in God, and prayer is the only answer. I will keep you in my prayers at this difficult time.