Dearest Michelle. I can not imagine the pain you have been through. My son Chuck committed suicide Dec. 22 3 yrs. ago.and I am sad but after reading your story I realize your pain is worse than mine. I have 3 grandchildren that live with me and so I have a lot to fill the void of loneliness.I belong to a prayer group on the internet and it is a great feeling knwing that so many people care.