
This was my mom when her and Dad got married. She was only 16. She raised all four of us to be kind, honest, caring individuals. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH MY LIFE HAS CHANGED IN THREE WEEKS!!!!!!
Three weeks ago Mom wasn't feeling so good and the Doctor decided that it was her Gallbladder. She was getting some tests done and one of them showed a problem. Two weeks ago my daughter Jordan received a straight A Award at the school. Mom wasn't going to go as she wasn't feeling well, but decided at the last minute that she couldn't miss it. Here she is at the school with my daughter

Mom went into the hospital on December 7, 2009. On December 8th we were told she had Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer and that there was absolutely nothing they could do. I remember her saying, "I am too young for this!!". She told us kids, "I will try any treatment there is , I want to see my grandkids grow up!!" I had to tell her there were no treatments , but she said we could pray for a miracle. Here is mom in the hospital with Jordan

Mom wanted to go home so we left the hospital on December 9, 2009. Mom died on December 13th , 2009 and we just buried her on December 17th....my HEART IS BROKEN...IT WAS SO DAMN FAST....WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME AND THIS HURTS SO BADLY....I CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE RIGHT THIS MINUTE....I am going to the cemetery to talk to her.
I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!

ME AND MOM AT EASTER

THIS IS THE PICTURE I USED FOR HER OBITUARY, I JUST CROPPED MYSELF OUT OF IT.
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beautiful pictures..... my dad and best friend passed 4/28/12, and I feel despondent.....
beautiful pictures..... my dad and best friend passed 4/28/12, and I feel despondent.....
My mom died on December 13, 2009, exactly 9 days after receiving a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. She had turned 65 that year. All of us are still struggling with it. It doesn't get better - well some things do, as far as now I can actually talk about her for a few minutes without busting into tears. I've also stopped feeling the EXTREME resentment I felt any time I saw a woman who was older then my mo m walking around. I'm ashamed to say that I would instantly think to myself - why did she get to live and my mom had to die? I know, horrible thoughts but HONEST ones. Now I am finally able to be around a elderly woman and simply think reasonable thoughts like " aww doesn't she look happy, nice family, things like that.
We visit moms grave quite a bit, here is a picture of my sisters taking their first grandchildren up to see "grandma" for the first time. Its kinda heartbreaking to me. I have a voice mail message that I play when I am really missing her. It say's, "This is your mom or Pearl, I must be in a spot where I can't be reached" I love the fact that she identifies herself as mom first and also agree wholeheartedly that she is in a spot where she just can't be reached.
Oh Momma my God I miss you and have a huge ache inside of me. The thought of not seeing you for another 20-40 years seems overwhelming at times. I do know however, exactly what you would say to me. It would go someting like this, "Mary Sue you know how much I always loved you and your sisters and brother and you guys need to stick together and keep in mind that I am always in your heart. Just do the things that you know I would want you to and continue to be the young woman and mom that made me proud"
Here's the pics of mom meeting Everleigh and Lacey for the first time.
I love you momma and i wish i could get one more of those super hugs you were always giving me, how i wish I could hear you calling me on the phone for the 6th time in a day, to tell me one more thing, how I wish you could have seen your granddaughter turn 12, how I wish I could just hear your voice one more time telling me how much you love me.
BTW, your mother was beautiful! I love these photos!
Lauran
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