Dear Nora,Your note really touched me as I lost my youngest son18 on Aug 6,2009.He was my youngest of 3 sons and we were extremely close.The few days leading up to us death were very strange.You are right there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him or cry.I have analyzed the days before to see if there was anything I could have said or done differentedly.There really was not as this was caused by anothers action.I also feel your pain and yes,thats a good way to describe as crushing.I too struggle to go on because I have 2 other sons,a grandson and a loving husband who shares my pain by not as a mother, as a parent.Your note just touched me to write this note to you.Please feel free to write back as I am very sure we are experiencing the same feelings and expereinces.