Dear Norma,

Although at this point in your life it may not be able to help, do think on this, please. I had been taught not to look with pain on what I lost, but to think of the good times I spent with her, the loving times, the laughter, the smiles, the warmth. Replace the pain with memories that are good. Because I had already learned this lesson when an uncle hung himself (he was in an Easter Seals group home due to his mental illness, otherwise he was normal to anyone that interacted with him. He was part of our family, my wife and kids, and would spend weekends with us. We were stunned when called the day he had hung himself. I got counseling at that time, decades ago. It has helped me at this time, although, to be honest, the pain was deep for a few days for me).

You had many good years with him. Remember the good. The problem with grief so deep and so ingrained is nothing anyone else says, no matter how practical can change how you feel. Only in sharing my experiences we get to know how we each cope. What works for me does not necessarily work for someone else.

I hope we can continue to share our stories with each other. Take care,

Ed Casey