December 7, 2008 my mother was taken from my family and we struggle to live to this day. I went to her house to take her breakfast and I did not even think about her not answering her phone. I walked to her room to le t her know I had her and my son breakfast. As I turned on the light I seen her but I did not realize she had past. She normally would moan or move when I called her name but she just lay still. I finally realized she had past and I lost it. I screamed her name and open the door to where my son was to tall him she was gone. I called my siblings and best friends but could not reach everyone So I told my son to call everyone. I just lost it. I had so many regrets because for one my mother had aksed me to spend the night she had only been out of the hospital for six days I was so consumed with my own life I had just left my 14 year old son with her and promised breakfast in the morning. GOD knows if I would have only known. I took her living for granted. I still can’t believe it, I pray this is just a dream. My mother was my world I talked to her every day. She was always there for me. She raised us all to be a close knot family and we are. It is seven of us, 19 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren. Everyday day of my life a part of me dies because I should have stayed. She was a wonderful mother and life without her is confusing. I can’t understand why this is happening to us. It has almost been a year and things still have not gotten better. Lord lift us from this phase because we are dying inside.
I know how you feel about not thinking you rok. I lost my mom on May 1 and I cry alot still. I miss her terribly. The crying and being in those moments is actually ok for me. We all have our own way to grieve. Just be a part of it. It will get better for you and you'll just know it when it does.