Patti, I wonder if you and I have the same problem. Because of my former positions I have learned how to present myself to those on the outside. Not the real inner me, but the outer me that I have created for - self preservation maybe?
My wife of 31 years died suddenly on Aug 28. Even as I meet with my pastor and others who are sincere in their concern, I maintain a certain facade. More than one has told me that I appear to be doing surprisingly well. I'm not. I have waves of grief that I cannot share.
Don't get me wrong. The love and caring that has been extended by my church family has been extraordinary, but it's as though the only person I could truly share my feelings with is gone forever. It was encouraging to read that you have been able to have a personal conversation with someone and that it was helpful.
mY HUSBAND OF 55 YEARS PASSES AWAY mAY 2009, he was the love of my life, my best friend, lover and confidant. He suffered a massive heart attack and lived via machines and tube feedings for 3 weeks. I miss him terribly, he did everything for me.