Patti, I wonder if you and I have the same problem. Because of my former positions I have learned how to present myself to those on the outside. Not the real inner me, but the outer me that I have created for - self preservation maybe?

My wife of 31 years died suddenly on Aug 28. Even as I meet with my pastor and others who are sincere in their concern, I maintain a certain facade. More than one has told me that I appear to be doing surprisingly well. I'm not. I have waves of grief that I cannot share.

Don't get me wrong. The love and caring that has been extended by my church family has been extraordinary, but it's as though the only person I could truly share my feelings with is gone forever. It was encouraging to read that you have been able to have a personal conversation with someone and that it was helpful.