• Female
  • Redlands, CA
  • United States
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At 11:19am on December 21, 2010, Carrie L said…

Hi Pj just wishing you condolences while we go through this hardship together. carrie L

At 7:29pm on December 1, 2009, TKF said…
I am so very sorry for your losses. I lost my former husband in August after three long weeks of trying to save him after a cardiac arrest. I was drawn to your post because you said that you lost your Dad at 15. We have two fifteen year olds. We were married for 25 years and he struggled the majority of the time. I dissolved the marriage because I felt it was not healthy for our children, not because I stopped loving him. My guilt is overwhelming as I feel that I took from him the thing that did make him feel good and that he was most proud of-his family. I would like to know if you have any advice in terms of my children since you were the same age when you experienced your first loss. Again I just want to say how very sorry I am for your losses and encouraged to hear that you are truly a 'Survivor'.
At 8:46pm on November 18, 2009, sherre Yager said…
hi pj thanks for getting back to me since we are both new at this matbe we can help each other through all this grief and also how to use this web site hang in there hugs sherre
At 7:54pm on November 16, 2009, sherre Yager said…
Hi Pj
so sorry of your losses and tragic past. You are telling a major piece of my story. I lost my Mom to suicide in 1979 i was 18 and pregnant with my duaghter. my Mom turned to alcohol for relief of her depression and an unhealthy marriage to my Father. I followed her samr path. I ve been sober for years and able to have access to therapy ect. My brother in law also alcholic took his life in 2005. Then this march 31 my boy Justin 27 ended his life also. trgic tragic tragic painful stressful nearly impossible at times. Thank you for being here and sharing. I pray that you find proffessional help. I joined SOS its a support group nation wide survivors of suicide they are listed on the web best of luck sherre mom of justin
At 1:07pm on October 29, 2009, Pj said…
I don't know where to begin but I lost both my Father and my oldest son to suicide.
My Father took his life when I had just turned 15, my son took his life when he had just turned 27 in 1989.
I have felt I needed counseling for my grief and other life circumstances but I am not someone who can afford counseling. There are places to drive and join a support group I have not been able to do that.
My mother's death was because she had been an alcoholic for many years and her death came between 1 to 2 yrs. after my Dads death.
I have a very small family left and I try to be 'there' for them but when I am emotionally hurting I tend to self-isolate.
I am going through a third divorce which is painful and feel much like a 'failure' at times - my almost 44yr. old son who is Autistic with the related cognitive challenges has always lived with me and is a good person...so is my daughter, she will be 40 in several months.
We have lived through much trauma, violence and survived - I am proud we are survivors nevertheless much pain, hidden pain is a price that is paid and the account is never 'paid in full'.
So much to say though for today this will be my introduction.

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