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  • Boise, ID
  • United States
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  • Jennifer Zavala
  • Sara Murphy




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Still missing him

Posted on December 29, 2016 at 10:20pm 0 Comments

We will be going on 9 months on Jan. 8th since I lost my husband to a drugged driver. Sometimes I get so lonesome not  only because most the time I am home alone but I miss his voice and seeing him look over at me, I miss his smile, I miss knowing that he is next to me in the bed. So many other people still have kids at home, I am alone. 

This it to hard

Posted on September 26, 2016 at 4:31pm 1 Comment

Don't know how any of us do this. It is so hard.  Went camping for one night with my son and some of the kids and almost couldn't stand it. It just wasn't natural to be there without him. I followed my son home, who had his dads 4 wheeler in the back of his truck not ours

Only the Beginning

Posted on August 30, 2016 at 12:16pm 4 Comments

I lost my soul mate on April 8, 2016 while he was walking on his lunch break. My daughter bought him a fitbit so that he could get healthy with all of us. He loved it and he beat us on every challenge. The sad part is that she now feels some responsibility for his death. No matter how much you tell her she isn't it stays in her mind. The texting, on meth driver crossed over the road and hit him from behind. He was at the hospital for almost 2 hours before we even found out he had been hit.…


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At 3:25pm on September 19, 2016, DJ said…

Jill was a big fan of Christmas, definitely the family elf.  She collected snowmen also:  figures, hangings, tree ornaments, etc.  One of our favourites is about 8" high, mounted on a coil so it bounces and wobbles when pushed; it was our "happy" snowman - we never got tired of it playfully weaving about. 

Jill did all of our shopping - starting on boxing day; she'd usually have it all done by Remembrance Day.  Then together we'd wrap and parcel everything up.

At 12:09pm on September 16, 2016, DJ said…
Rose; so sorry for your loss. My wife Jill died 2014Feb03, 11 months after brain cancer diagnosis. She was my heart and soul, I was her geek. She wanted to die at home, so that is what we did. I took leave to care for her full time. I was numb for months after she died, struggling day-to-day. The neutral days now outnumber the bad ones; tears every day but no longer all day. I have only recently started to come out of the fog - "discovering" events such as death of an aunt and brother-in-law's mother happened the past couple years...
Jill had recently retired, and was making all our plans for when I retired - which was four months after she died (compulsory retirement from the military at age 60). Like you, we were looking forward to retirement, so we could come and go as we pleased.
We also have grown children, no grandchildren though - only furry ones.
This site has been wonderful for me, as folks here truly know the profound emptiness we feel. I read the discussion board almost every day, although I don't often post. It is encouraging to know that the wrenching heartache eventually tones down as we settle into a new norm - managing without physical companionship but ever-present spiritual comfort. I talk to Jill all the time.
We are all on this grief journey, albeit the exact path is different for each of us. May your path be merciful.

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