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Bereaved Spouses

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At 9:18am on January 24, 2018, Charles E. Nelson said…: Hi Rebecca,

Sorry for the delay in seeing your friend request - I don't check my email nearly as frequently as I should right now, being busy trying to unpack many things from my move to Texas from NJ, and having a February 1st deadline to get some things ready for a small business venture I am attempting. More on that later. I also want you to have my email address - it is charlylary@peoplepc.com - I offer it only as another way to write me if you want - I do that sometimes with a few people from Legacy so we don't always need to go through the website.

I really do want you to make every effort to be open to some seemingly meaningless occasions when you may be going through your days - A very minor chance encounter can sometimes become an acquaintance, a friendship, or more. I am not pushing you toward dating or anything like that - just know from my own experience that now, at 64 years old, I am amazed to find myself in a new relationship 3 years after losing Larry. The only reason it happened was because I kept my heart open to the offering of understanding and compassion from a gentleman who was equally hurting after his own loss of his partner. Steve and I, both being members of Legacy, worried that perhaps the evolution of our relationship might be seen by some as hurried or inappropriate, but thankfully that did not happen.

I hope you will keep sharing with the Legacy family, and suggest you try to post on the Bereaved Spouses portion, as it is easier for other members to reply quickly. But that is only if you feel comfortable with that avenue. Any way you wish to communicate with me is fine, and I will always try to be here for you when you feel down, need to talk, or just want to say "hello".

It's my birthday today, so Steve and I are going to the movies and lunch - the movie is "Call Me By Your Name", a gay love story. I am a sucker for love stories - always have been - and will keep my pocket full of tissues at the ready!

Have a peaceful day new friend, and thank you for reaching out - I value friendship most highly as one of the beautiful things that make life worthwhile.

Love,

Chuck

At 5:53am on January 23, 2018, Marsha H said…: Hi Rebecca ...

Great that we are friends now as it seems we have a few things in common. Dating online? UGH Think it would be a blast to compare our feelings and experiences. LOL If you feel comfortable please email me at: Maday1@shaw.ca

Marcy X

At 3:07pm on January 22, 2018, Charles E. Nelson said…: Dear Rebecca,

I just read your post to all the members, and my heart breaks for you - I am currently unpacking boxes moved here to Texas in December after moving from my home in New Jersey where I lived with my husband Larry for 32 years. It seems that photos and possessions of his surface daily, and my loss of him almost 3 years ago becomes fresh again. I am older than you, and view your age as young, so keep that in mind when I say this - your life lies long before you, and at any age or time you may unexpectedly find yourself finding love again. Maybe not the kind of love you had, but something just as deep, as real, and especially as comforting in banishing the loneliness you now are feeling. Just allow yourself to grieve as you are doing today and don't look at that as some indication that your life will never change. As a matter of fact, the only thing I can promise you with complete certainty is that change is inevitable - as we all know from our shared losses here in this family. Be strong, and look every day for something, no matter how insignificant it may seem, that brings a smile to you - that smile will be noticed by someone one day who will smile back...

Love,

Chuck