Rebecca Morales
  • Female
  • San Dimas
  • United Kingdom
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Lonely sad...

What really happens to our loved ones as they passed to suicide?  I wonder and have so many questions.  To be honest I always had alot of faith and believed in God. 

But I am not sure now if I want to believe in God, because I really relied and him to save my brother.  He lived in Texas and I here at California.  He had alcholism and a severe case of parkinsons disease.  He lived there for 3 years and I never went to see him because I work fulltime demanding job and I also babysite every weekend for grandkids.  I always felt bad not going tosee him, but I in turn always asked my brother to come here and stay with me, but he didn't. 

I am at a such a loss, now his partner won't talk to me.

Rebecca

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At 12:35pm on December 5, 2011, kat said…

Hi Rebecca,

I am doing good thank you. How are you? I'm so sorry for your loss. The holidays are a hard time and a big reminder of our loved ones being absent.  Over Thanksgiving all my family was together and my mom wore one of my brother's old belts and said that he was here with us.  It has been 2.5 years since my brother's death and it all still seems so much of a blur and unreal. I have had some problems with my faith also after my brother's passing; I pretty much don't practice or pray at all anymore, though I do still firmly believe that God  wouldn't give us more than we could handle, but really, really pushes the limit sometimes.  But with that said, I don't know how he could have gave my brother too much to handle.  It's a bunch of unanswered questions that don't even have anywhere to search for an answer.  Hope you are doing well and I'm always open to talking to others.  Thanks for you comment.

Take care,

Kathleen

At 7:30pm on March 11, 2011, Dwayne Cornelison said…
Thank you for your note Rebecca. The service was both nice and sad and had the right amount of humor in remembrances of Dakota. I think my eulogy went well...a lot of people spoke to me after the service and told me it meant a lot to them. Dakota's mom seemed to like it, and that was the most important thing.

I think the service helped provide a little closure so the healing process can begin. I know the hurt will never leave, but I guess it becomes part of us. For you and for me, I hope one day special memories will start to outweigh the sadness we feel.

As you know all too well, there just is no making sense out of it. No answers, no understanding.

I know what you mean about not understanding why God allowed this to happen. I prayed for Dakota everyday. I wanted to know why God didn't answer my prayers and then took him from me. I believe though that God has a reason and only hope that something good will come from this tragedy. I had not seen Dakota in a while...I live about two hours from where he lived. He came to see me the Saturday before he died. I'm so thankful for that blessing and believe God brought him to see me. Somehow it was all part of God's plan.

Keep trying with your brother's partner. I'm sure he is hurting, and he sounds bitter. Reach out to him in every way...calling, emails, a card by regular mail. Keep trying even if he rejects you. He will come to see that you are hurting too and that your loved your brother. It's probably hard for both of you to provide comfort when you both need comfort. Don't give up though.

Thank you again for writing me. Stay strong. All we can do is live life to the fullest and hope something good will come from what happened. The pain is just so strong right now, so I know it's a lot easier said than done.

My thoughts and prayers are with you....Dwayne
At 7:30pm on March 11, 2011, Dwayne Cornelison said…
Thank you for your note Rebecca. The service was both nice and sad and had the right amount of humor in remembrances of Dakota. I think my eulogy went well...a lot of people spoke to me after the service and told me it meant a lot to them. Dakota's mom seemed to like it, and that was the most important thing.

I think the service helped provide a little closure so the healing process can begin. I know the hurt will never leave, but I guess it becomes part of us. For you and for me, I hope one day special memories will start to outweigh the sadness we feel.

As you know all too well, there just is no making sense out of it. No answers, no understanding.

I know what you mean about not understanding why God allowed this to happen. I prayed for Dakota everyday. I wanted to know why God didn't answer my prayers and then took him from me. I believe though that God has a reason and only hope that something good will come from this tragedy. I had not seen Dakota in a while...I live about two hours from where he lived. He came to see me the Saturday before he died. I'm so thankful for that blessing and believe God brought him to see me. Somehow it was all part of God's plan.

Keep trying with your brother's partner. I'm sure he is hurting, and he sounds bitter. Reach out to him in every way...calling, emails, a card by regular mail. Keep trying even if he rejects you. He will come to see that you are hurting too and that your loved your brother. It's probably hard for both of you to provide comfort when you both need comfort. Don't give up though.

Thank you again for writing me. Stay strong. All we can do is live life to the fullest and hope something good will come from what happened. The pain is just so strong right now, so I know it's a lot easier said than done.

My thoughts and prayers are with you....Dwayne
At 10:44am on March 10, 2011, Dwayne Cornelison said…

Rebecca...thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry about the loss of your brother. It sounds like we are feeling a lot of the same emotions and have the same unanswerable questions. I am speaking at Dakota's memorial service tonight...it will be hard, but I want to do it for him. So many memories.

 

You will be in my thoughts and prayers as we both travel down this unwelcomed and painful path.

 

Dwayne

 
 
 

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