Renee' Cummings
  • Female
  • Cleveland, OH
  • United States
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I thought I was getting better, but I am geting worse Handling my husband death.

Posted on January 11, 2011 at 10:00pm 0 Comments

Well My Legacy Family I thought I was getting Better, but now I know I am not.  Actually I am getting worse.  I don't sleep but a hour or two at a time and I barely eat.  Maybe a sandwwich here once a day and I am so angry about the way things were left. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I try to put on a smile and say I am ok and doing ok, but thats a lie.  I asked my doctor for sosmething for my nerves cause I feel as though I am going to explode, but she says I…

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At 6:13pm on March 22, 2011, Linda Robertson said…

Renee,

  Thanks for getting back to me, It makes you feel good to know someone else feel the same as you, It's  just nice to know someone else cares, I know we are going to get through this and I know god is with us, But it sure is hard sometimes.

I live in Lawrenceville Ga. My Number is 770-963-8598 also feel free to call me at anytime also. Again thanks for careing, My GOD be with you. Big Hugs !!!!!. Linda

At 1:54pm on March 22, 2011, Linda Robertson said…

Renee, Just came to the site today just feeeling kind of lonely today, I am sure you know what I am talking about, some day are just worst than others, Its been 31 monthes now, and still some days I just feel like I am not going to make it.

I hope you are doing better and things are getting better for you, I don't write on here as much any more,But there are days like today when your so lonely and blue, and nothing seems to help that feeling, But yet you have to just get up and brush yourself off and keep on going, Some How... It gets so hard at times. I just don't know if you will ever be able to fill that void you have in your heart again, But I sure hope so.

You take care, and thanks for reading this, I am just venting I guess, Hugs and prayers to you, Have yourself a great day.    Linda

At 7:34am on January 27, 2011, Linda Robertson said…

Hi Renee,

I read your post yesterday, It.s been a while for me since I have been on here, But your note touched me, I have been where you are, and  I am still there, it is tough and hard to live with, it hurts when a grandchild says I would love to get a hamburger, and you have to say I don't have any money, It's hard to ask for help, But you learn to, I had to totally learn to trust in my Lord Totally, and he has helped me through, My Buddy has been gone for 29 months now and some days I still miss him just as if it happen yesterday, you do need to find a doctor that will help you take the edge off, It will help, But this group helped me a lot just being able to talk with someone else who feels the same as I do.

I send my hugs  and prayers to you, If I can help in anyway you just let me know,

Just know your not here alone

 

 

Love and Prayers  Linda

At 10:37pm on January 26, 2011, Patricia L. Herrera said…

Hi Renee,

I know exactly where your coming from Renee. I was married 34 years to a wonderful guy. The grieving and mourning process is not easy but in order for us to heal we have to go through it. Your doctor should of given you something to calm you down. I found help through my local Hospice Organization. They held a six week session for people who lost loved ones. The group I was in there were six of us ladies and we all lost spouses. We are all in about the same age and we all relate very well to what we are going through. I have completed the six week session and we still remain friends. Once a month we get together at the Hospice Office and meet to either talk or go out and have lunch. The instructor we had presented us with homework every week and it really helped get us where we are today. Her sessions brought out all the anger and emotions that once goes through in the grieving process. You will experience ups and downs like a roller coaster. Please try to find a support group to help you Renee. It will really help get all that anger out and learn to deal with this change in your life. I wish you luck. I will prayer for you and hope you will be able to find peace and comfort. God bless you and your family.

 

Pat in Texas

Lost my Ray on 3-22-2010

At 9:11am on November 17, 2010, Debbie Treadway said…
I am proud to be your friend. I know it is hard. My husband and I were married for 39 wonderful years. i can't watch the same TV shows that we watched together or eat at certain restaurants that he loved, but i have to say that things are getting just a little easier. I may go a couple of days without crying but then the tears come again. I have learned to just let them flow and it usually gives me a little peace for then. I will keep you in my prayers and anytime you need to talk I am here for you.
At 1:26am on November 17, 2010, Elaine Richmond said…
I want you to know that I would also love to have you as a friend and my email is elainrichmond8@aol.com and also know that I will always, always include you in my prayers from now on. I want to say to you "Let go and let God" but that is such a hard thing to do, because I want my husband back or I want to join him but that is not up to me or I would have been gone a long time ago. I feel as though he is not gone and I wonder and wonder what can I do to bring him back because for months I kept thinking if I do this, this and this he will be back, but then I wonder why did he ever leave? We were supposed to be together through eternity and I do not think I can survive without him. I will be praying for you, I cross my heart I will pray for you always..Elaiane
At 1:14am on November 17, 2010, Elaine Richmond said…
Thank you Renee'. I know you feel you are in a nightmare and I hate it that I have to agree with you, and I feel as though the nightmare will never end. I too wanted to bury my head in the covers, and more times than I can count, I did just that, and it did not help a darn bit. Nothing helps. I keep expecting to see my husband walk through the door or hear his car pull in and I leave the bathroom light on and watch it and think as I lay here and watch it, it will go off and I will see his shadow coming to bed. I woke the other morning talking to him we wre having the best conversation about our oldest son and we were talling and and laughing and the phone actually rang and I picked it up and said ' I don't want to talk to them right now' and that is when i awoke. I cried and cried for the rest of the day and thought my God what would he have done if I had passed? Would he be going as crazy as I am? He was so strong, but w were each other's weakness and I think he would be having just the same way I am. He was my heart and now he is gone and I keep thinking I cannot survive long without my heart but I am so afraid that I will. I cry almost continually, I go to restaurants and cry I go to stores to shop and cry all the way through.
At 9:27pm on November 16, 2010, Patricia L. Herrera said…
Hi Renee,
I accepted your friend invite. You contact me whenever you feel like talking, I won't mind. Talking about your life with your man is good medicine for you. I know you want to cry when you do talk about him but that is how we heal from our loss. So you were married even longer than I was to my guy. We married on March 27, 1976 and he died March 22, 2010. Our anniversary was the following day after he was buried. My daughter and son bought me a dozen red roses on my anniversary and took one rose out of the dozen and put it on his grave. My kids are very thoughtful and loving. I cried when they presented them to me along with a beautiful card but it also helped me knowing that they didn't forget their Father and put a rose on his grave for him from me. You know, life is so funny. We all look to fall in love with our tall, dark handsome man and then share a lifetime with them and all that love we had can make us hurt so dam bad. I'm not sorry for loving my guy so much, I just never thought it was going to hurt this bad. But, I will now live on all the memories we shared together. They will keeping me going until we meet again. Well Renee, I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving. I decided to cook for my family and try to make it a nice family day together. Well dear, you take care, contact me whenever your feeling down or lonely. My email address is: pattycake11@msn.com. Talk to you soon.

God bless & Hugs!
Pat in Texas
At 4:33pm on November 16, 2010, Debbie Treadway said…
Renee' I am so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away on Aug. 23, 2010.
I do understand where you are right now. I was lost at that point, couldn't sleep was exhausted all the time. I would have to leave work and go to the cemetery and cry. I miss my husband every day and sometimes just burst into tears for no reason. I have ordered several books online for grieving spouses and reading them has helped some. I ask God for strength every day to go on without him. I am going to have Thanksgiving at my house with his sisters and my daughter and son-in-law. He loved being with family so I know it will make him happy. All I can say is take things one day at a time and don't let anyone talk you into doing something that you don't want to do. I still feel guilty at times when I do something to enjoy myself but i know that he would not want me to be miserable the rest of my life. I will keep you in my prayers and am willing to listen any time you need to talk
At 9:48am on November 16, 2010, Mary Ellen said…
I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS ,MY HUSBAND OF 38 YRS. PASSED AWAY APRIL 30TH 2010 AND IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS. AND MY HEART IS STILL BREAKING . PEOPLE SAY TIME ..THATS WHAT I HEAR BUT I DON'T FEEL TIME IS HELPING ME ,BUT I GUESS IT IS BECAUSE I HAVE GOTTEN THRU 6 MONTHS. WE'LL MISS OUT LOVED ONES FOREVER & A DAY...I ALWAYS PRAYED TO GOD LET ME LIVE 1 DAY LONGER THAN PHIL SO THAT I CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM AND SO NOW I SAY ..I'M READY YOU HAVE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE BUT GUESS IT'S NOT MY TURN YET , BUT RENEE JUST TAKE 1 DAY AT A TIME THATS ALL WE CAN DO AND TALK ABOUT THE YOUR LOVE OF YOURS .I TALK TO MY HUSBAND ALL THE TIME IF PEOPLE WOULD SEE ME THEY WOULD THINK I WAS LOSING IT SO I REALLY DO KNOW YOUR HURTING AND KNOW THE LOSS & PAIN BUT EVERYONE'S PAIN IS DIFFRENT BUT HEARTACH IS HEARTACH ..I PRAY YOUR DAYS WILL SOMEDAY BE LESS PAINFUL ..CHAT WITH ME ANYTIME ..HUGS ..YOUR NEW FRIEND MARY ELLEN
 
 
 

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