I don't know that I could bear another loss on top of what I've already got, as you are facing with the eminent loss of your sister. I wish there was a magic wand for all of this- all of our grief to just disappear. I pray for your strength that you might be able to get through this difficult time.
Thank you for commenting. Just knowing that there are people like you who understand what I'm going through helps. I am going out tonight with a Friday gay movie group. I tried last week, and, as you mentioned, I felt like I wasn't really there. My body was, and I knew how to smile and laugh at the right places, but it was as if I was alone watching a movie. I felt guilty that I could go out without Toddy.
It may not go any better tonight, but I think getting out of the house might be ok.
I thought i had been going through a lot My Homer's passing, My mother, stepfather, a brother. and sister- in law not doing very well health wise. My vicious and nasty neighbors upstairs who I never met caused some major water damge to my hallway, master bathroom and one of my bedrooms.
My heart really goes out to you though. You have been going through so much it's unbelievable. I really hope that things get much better for you soon.
I love what you said about you would have been happy just pitching a tent in the woods with your partner. That is how i felt about homer. As long as he was with me I was OK. He was my real home in the world. Take care.
I haven't been on this site lately either. A few people have very nice but I haven't heard from that many people. This isn't much of a support group thst's for sure. I would love to be able to find a support group in my area but there isn't one. I live right outside of Atlanta and you would think that an area this size would have a gay grief support group but there isn't one. There are gay groups for just about everything else.
When my partner Homer passed away in February we had only been at the place where I am now for a year and a half. we struggled for years and were finally able to buy our own condo. We were still in the process of decorating the place. I have been trying to finish but fin dI don't have much interest in it. I haven't had much interest in anything since Homer has been gone. I guess I will get a little better in time. I just still feel so lost. It's just so hard to imagine the rest of my life without my guy. Take care.