Robert, first I want to say sorry for loss I know there no words to ease your pain, but we as a group are here for you. And thank you for your kind words but the guilt is never going to go away. When Richie was in the hospital he told me to get his clothes he don't want to die in the hospital I told I wasn't allowed cause I really thought he was coming home. The only thing is I was blessed I got to say goodbye and that I loved him. And the hospital kept pumping him with blood so my son is is 24 now can say goodbye. There was so many things wrong with him. He was fine and then he had 2 heart attacks and found out he had a blood clot in his intestines and aneurysm in his aorta they took 3 feet of his intestine and he was still bleeding so they took his colon out and kept him open with a mesh in case they had to go back in. I saw them try to resaitate him and it was killing me to watch. But like I said the did everything so we could say goodbye. Thanks for listening I could on forever telling you things that happened in a months time. But I know your wisdom could be used with the group. God bless you Robert.